thejonjohn

When I was younger, image was EVERYTHING. I HAD the hair, the body, the car. I was the GUY.

(At least I thought I was.)

I was definitely a good looking Twink.

Having the wrong items in your basket or cart at the store could DESTROY that image.

Today. I'm definitely not that guy. I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

I didn't realize how much "image" doesn't matter to me until I thought about my last shopping trip for my dad.

I had the LARGEST package of Depends they sell (like the 40 pack), the LARGEST package of Ensure they sell (I think it was a 20 pack), a half gallon of milk, and a GIANT package of Charmin Ultra-Soft toilet paper.

And I didn't care who saw me. I didn't even put them in

Hi! I'm asking for help regarding a user who was banned from my group by a different MOD who then messaged us objecting to his ban by saying "I'm going to put you on an Illuminati (hit) list"

What options do we have, other than confirming his ban from our group?

Who wants this person in their group?

And how do we, collectively, decide that "adding people to your personal hit list," means you don't need to be on Reddit anymore?

Thanks in advance!

Mezostatic prostate cancer that has spread to the spine sounds absolutely fucking terrible.

And it is.

I'm sorry I haven't been here. I haven't abandoned FU. I, LITERALLY, haven't had time for FU, OR ANY OTHER FRIEND GROUP.

My life has just evolved to be around doctor's appointments, going to work, more doctor's appointments, and taking care of Dad's daily tasks and needs on my days off.

I'm here now to say that, dad is still undergoing treatment, BUT EVERY Doctor is saying things are looking good!

We are STILL shouting from the mountain tops: "FUCK CANCER." And I'm here to say that we are, at least, at the moment, just maybe, able to say we are "just the tip" into "FUCKING CANCER."

FedEx is flying the MD-11 again. Thoughts?

FedEx is flying the MD-11 for cargo shipments (obviously) again.

It started with baby steps. Flight occurs, then DIRECTLY to the aircraft maintenance hanger for inspection.

Today they are back in, somewhat, general rotation.

While I can't confirm or deny ANYTHING that follows, it is my solid belief that:

The NTSB recommended a replacement of the MD-11 motor mounts if any sign of stress or wear was detected in the mounts. The replacement mount is MUCH stronger and designed to hold better from additional information from the DC-10 incident and further information developed through the years of MD-11 service.

FedEx flight mechanics observed "unusual" wear and tear and sent that info "

So... This is NOT going to be a fun story.

This is the story of my life, for the last month.

Dad. Well, dad hasn't been feeling well. He has been to his primary care doctor, the Emergency Department, and a urology specialist.

All THIS, actually started months ago. Dad couldn't pee. Or if he COULD, it was a few dribbles and nothing else. So, a catheter was put in place. Dad now doesn't have to pee, it just chooses gravity and falls into a bag.

The urology group scheduled a surgery earlier this month to basically remove the part of Dad's prostate that was sitting on his urethra. That should allow dad to pee again, normally.

It's the Friday before the Tuesday morning surgery and dad h

The funniest (and probably most absurd) search warrant I EVER wrote was NOT to enter a building. The WARRANT was to BREECH a wire coat hanger wrapped around a gate into a backyard.

It was an animal cruelty case where the dog was in plain view from the gate that had been open upon my initial inquiry.

With no obstruction upon my initial inquiry, I made entry into the backyard and I CLEARLY documented no food, no water, and no shelter.

I left a written NOTICE TO COMPLY on the front door of the house.

I came back the next day and the back gate was tied closed with a wire coat hanger.

I could CLEARLY SEE from outside of the gate, that nothing had been provided for the dog in the backyard.

I stopped off at my friendly, local, "off-license," (or "package store," or "Sir Reginald's Spirit Emporium" or whatever it is you call the "liquor store" wherever you are... Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, at the store..."

And I see a can that tickles my fancy, and I'm like "I guess I will try one of these "vodka Riki" drinks." It's got a palm tree on the can, so that got my attention.

I pick up a few other "items," checkout and pay, and go home.

I decide to try my Riki and I immediately get stuck. It's got a plastic thingy on the top of the can instead of a pop top like EVERY OTHER CAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN THE WORLD.

So I study the can. There's BOUND to be a sentence somewhere on here that

I worked at an "electronics store" (that wasn't a City or Shack) and had a manager who was just plain scummy. Like I never found a redeeming quality to list about him scummy.

I'm just going to list a few of his "redeemless traits."

1. To reduce the "shrink" (loss/theft) numbers, he would write off items as "store use." I don't know what store needed 12 shredders, an entire pallet of copy paper, 14 DIFFERENT types of keyboards, and 33 inkjet printer cartridges from 6 different manufacturers, but ours did. All in one day.

2. Every item eventually goes on clearance. It goes through a series of clearance mark downs, and then it gets listed as $0.01. Yes. A penny. Items listed as a penny are

SOOOO... in a place not so far away, in a time not so long ago, I was at work at the airport. And, because I've been a little more on the serious side of things recently:

This is either funny, or just plain stupid. Or, as I like to think, BOTH: SOOOO, back to our story.

To keep things simple we will just stick to the three gate numbers that make up the primary areas of our story. The 100s, the 200s, and the 300s.

The 100s are to the east of the building. They go from like 101-112. The 200s are on the south side of the building and ALSO are against the runway. They run from like 201-216. The 300s are on the NORTH side of the building, and run from like 350-361. (Don't ask me why the 300s s

I've not been here recently.

That's ok. But I appreciate my friends from here checking up on me.

So here is what's been going on.

My dad is 84 years old and he thinks he is invincible.

The real world is doing its best to prove him wrong.

I still have to go to work, and it was really difficult this week finding dead animals in the baggage carts.

It's not fun when you have to call and email corporate about what was really fucked up. And in the process throw a few people you used to work with under the bus.

The only problem is... They chose to stand in front of that bus.

So I'm upset about the entire situation. But I'm NOT upset about reporting the truth.

And I have "the receipts"

Soooo, I was thinking, (yes that is steam you see rising from between my ears)

What if washing machines had accurate and ACTUALLY helpful names for their wash cycles:

1. Refresh: you wore it for like 2 hours at a wedding 6 months ago and it's been in the closet since then. Smells like cheap liquor and stale closet paint. 20 minute cycle.

2. Everyday: The stuff you wear when you get off work. It doesn't really get dirty, but it begins to manifest its own scent. About a 30 minute cycle.

3. Easy work: You didn't really have a hard day, but you did wear this crap to work. Not too much of a stank developed. 25 minute cycle.

4. Hard day at work. Title says it all. 45 minute cycle.

5. Oo

So... There are some coworkers at my current job who LOVE to gossip.

So... Today at work. I ended up having the PERFECT story to feed into the rumor mill.

"I had just finished my lunch break, when I, (while driving driving my work vehicle), pulled out in front of another vehicle and was hit. And, to make things EVEN BETTER, one of the company's "safety team" members saw the whole thing and made sure to pull me aside to write it up."

Sounds bad. Right?

Well... Details matter.

The vehicle I pulled in front of? It didn't have a driver. It was parked on a hill and the parking brake failed. It started rolling, faster and faster, downhill towards several cars that were parked in the lot.

So... A LONG LONG time ago in a place not so far away... I was a teenager just as the Internet was becoming a "thing."

My parents decided that it was time to purchase a new vehicle, and they had come to the conclusion that it was a minivan that the family needed.

My parents and I went out to a dealer and went on a test drive in a Chevrolet Venture. For me, it was a very accommodating vehicle as a passenger. My parents liked it too. But, no deal was made that day. And the family came home.

Me, being the nerdy data driven person I remain to this day, watched Dateline on TV, and watched videos of this new crash test called "offset."

The Venture was the worst minivan in the tests. The Ford

So... A long time ago in a place not so far away I was working in the investigations division. I worked all the animal crime complaints.

Our department would occasionally get bombarded with some semi-viral Facebook post that would make a pet owner out to be the next Saddam Hussein or worse.

The most common was some EXTREMELY cropped photos that make it appear that a dog is living in total squalor and with no provisions for care provided.

My favorite of these types of calls was when the entirety of the situation was in complete and total "plain view," and I could document that the "egregious and terrible conditions" posted online failed to show the dog house, the food and water, an