[4501] Hime-sama/姫さま (Short Story) (CW: Body Horror)

Good afternoon, Destructive Readers!

This is a short story that I wrote for a friend of mine for his birthday a couple of years ago, and I'm thinking of submitting it to a horror magazine for publication. That being said, there have only ever been two pairs of eyes on this one (one of them being mine lol), so I'd like to get input from the community at large before I submit it.

My two biggest concerns are characterization and tone. In particular, I'm worried that:

- Jackson is too much of an elitist prick,
- We don't know enough about Emi to care about what happens to her, and
- That the tone is too on-its-face about the cosmic horror aspect of the story.

Also, just want to give another content warning that there's some pretty graphic body horror in this one, so proceed with caution if that's not your thing.

Here's a link to an editable Google Doc

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And my payment:

[2675] The Suicide Note of a Teenage Girl
[2558] Port Umbra
[1852] Crazy Abuse