[4666] Dark Fantasy/Romance/Erotica (First Chapter)
Hey everyone! This is my first time posting on here, I have been working on a fantasy series for awhile now and I have only had a few eyes on my writing so I would love any extra feedback. I haven't been writing for very long and I feel as though I am still working on finding my writing style and writers voice. If there are things I am doing blatantly wrong it would be great to find out now rather than later down the road when I have finished the book.
My story is a bohemian steampunk era fantasy romance, this first book I am writing is actually the prologue book to the main series.
Some things I would appreciate feedback on:
How is my prose? Is it too flowery?
Is the hook interesting enough?
Do my transitions flow?
Is the MC likeable?
World building? Does the world seem real, enough detail/ too much detail.
Am I showing rather than telling?
Formatting, dialogue, sentence structure?
Do the characters and the way they speak seem realistic?
What were things you liked/disliked?
General takeaways on the plot and characters?
This being the first chapter there isn't really anything explicit or erotic happening yet, but if I post further chapters there will be. It should also be noted that there is some abuse and manipulation that takes place.
Thank you again for taking the time to read my writing I really appreciate the feedback.
Link to first chapter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XSS3OZ7R_Yaka2qlJ2ud4MlUZurQ6y9STAseIGmDo2o/edit?usp=sharing
My critiques:
[2977] Rewind my smile - Chapter 2
https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/12413b9/2977_rewind_my_smile_chapter_2/
[2492] Readings from a one trick pony (Draft 2)
[1927] Rumor Has It
https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/120i6ul/1927_rumor_has_it/
[4501] Hime Sama
[1334] First chapter of mystery novel
https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/120p8vl/1334_first_chapter_of_mystery_novel/
Posted Mar 28, 2023, 4:41 AM UTC