A spring wind builds
and snow cedes it’s paltry warmth
from street corners and houses
to those which need it now.
Birds return fitful of song
and green pushes deftly
through thawing dirt
as couples sip coffee from cozy chairs,
watching through windows
the slow tide of spring
enter their lives again,
talking of books
and each other.
But love does not migrate;
it only comes, or goes.
It goes.
Posted Apr 5, 2023, 8:23 PM UTC
This is so powerful: I feel it’s really sad and slapping me in the face in a lot of viscerally and painful ways: but that makes it personal and uniquely impactful. Thanks so much for sharing <3
Your poem paints such a nice picture of spring. I thought "green pushes deftly through thawing dirt" was incredibly creative. However, I also am not connecting your theme of love with the coming of spring. Why is love going when spring is coming? If I were to make a suggestion, maybe write how love is relating with each statement of spring?
This is a really nice poem though, I think it flows well and the imagery is on point. So great job :)
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).
If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.
If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Very quiet and restrained kind of a poem. I do feel like the general theme has been a bit overdone but it is still enjoyable. This isn't something I would reread again and again but it is "nice". I'm not sure what you could change here. I'm not much of a poet myself but I think the very style of this prevents it from being "improved". It is what it is.
Thanks for your feedback. It's a work in progress and I agree the spring imagery might be too heavy. I'm working to make it more... Ephemeral, more an expression of an emotion than a concrete theme.
I believed your imagery to start, but then I wanted to know more. The images of spring, coming, arriving- I see it, but what would love look like if it did the same? Are they the same images as you already described, or is there a specific example you are hinting at? And if it doesn't migrate, how does it go?