[3288] (Part 3/3) White Summer

Hello! Here’s the third and final part of my attempt at historical fiction. Content warning—this excerpt dives into opium addiction and suicide.

For those who haven’t read the first two sections, here’s a brief rundown:

WHO

Laifu: A tailor in some serious debt

Haizheng: His teenage sister. Vivacious and passionate.

Yiming Fang: Haizheng’s love interest. Not a very good man.

Lady Fang: Yiming’s brother. Also shady.

WHAT

The story is set in mid-1800s Guangzhou, near the start of the opium wars, and told primarily through Laifu’s perspective.

In the first two sections, Haizheng meets Yiming. Over time, she shows signs of abuse and becomes more distant from Laifu. The tension between the siblings culminates in a fight that drives Haizheng away—just when the first skirmish breaks out.

At this point, Lady Fang steps in to offer her help because she knows Haizheng, but Laifu is resentful that she didn’t step in sooner. Fortunately, they find her. Laifu brings her home, and the morning after he does so is when the third excerpt begins.

My questions are:

Do I do justice to the portrayal of addiction?

When he’s out job-hunting, do I spend so much time in Laifu’s head that the tension fades?

Thoughts on Laifu’s exit—is it too melodramatic?

Story [3288]: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5LhGpz7alEDyCJoFma8TDGAeDjGQDR03HZeyD-vhYU/edit

Critiques:

[864] Sector L7 Chp. 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14qo5zs/864_sector_l7_chp_1_version_who_knows/

[3169] Coal at the Crossroads, Part 2/2: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14ev7km/comment/jp18op1/

[860] Soulbound opening version 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14plqwa/860_soulbound_opening_version_2/