[2491] A Bitter Tea

Hi! Trying my hand at writing some Japanese historical fantasy.
I really just want to see if I can write a hook in a story and maybe test out my prose. My biggest worry is that my attempt at sounding like GRRM is going to come off try-hard cringey and that the emotional impact that I feel so strongly about gets glossed over because of mediocre prose.
Please let me know if you found this short story interesting, did the pace pick up anywhere, did you feel anything and if you couldn't be bothered to finish, what was the straw that broke the camels back? Please don't hold back, make me regret thinking I had any talent.
My critiques:
[2978] Fangs Destined For Repossession -- Version 2.0
[2462] Jakar
[2511] The Happy Film
[522] Green Valley 1971
My submission:
[2491] A Bitter Tea