'Am I Being the Example That I Want My Child To Follow?'
imgur.com/a/LMJXNPosted Apr 15, 2018, 7:46 PM UTC
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If I was still a little girl I, too, would be annoyed that I couldn't change her clothes because they didn't fit. That was the nice thing about having multiple barbie dolls: you could interchange their outfits.
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For real, if you don’t want her to get annoyed with curvy Barbie, buy more than ONE curvy Barbie outfit, this isn’t some complex body issues... issue. It’s a toy not fulfilling its intended purpose.
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This is why barbies are shaped the way they are - to make it easier for little hands to put different outfits on them. They aren't representative of real women; they're toys to play with.
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Plus a stylized design is generally more interesting to look at than a totally realistic one. Not to mention that you want to avoid the uncanny valley effect. Also, in toys and cartoons, subtle details can be difficult to pull off, and leaving them in can look too over-the-top and not have the intended effect.
Side note, I was watching the Barbie episode of The Toys That Made Us, and they talk about they had to make her neck long for practicality reasons. Doll clothes are tiny, but they're still made of normal fabric, and if Barbie had a proportional neck, any clothing would cover it up and look bad. They also had trouble deciding what shape Ken's crotch should be, lol.
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I read some of the reviews on the Barbie website for the curvy one and most of them said it was hard for their kid to change the clothes but it was lovely they finally had a realistic doll.
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Those reviews sound like the parents are happier than the kids about that type of Barbie. They’re not the ones playing with it though.
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“I’m not playing, I’m accessorizing!”
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Same. What's wrong with chucking a freaking doll?
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I'd feel bad because i know my parent spent money on it, but i get your point. This woman made it all about her.
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I never had a lot of barbies. I had weird fake barbies and the clothes would be interchangeable. I solved my issues by making the clothes myself. But i only started enjoying barbies maybe at 8 or 9. So... yeah.
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How do you think barbie feels now that you've put her in the trash?
She doesn't, because barbie is plastic.
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Yes, kids don't need to be encouraged to ascribe feelings to inanimate objects any more than they already do. I remember being a kid and feeling terrible for leaving my stuffed animals alone all day when I was at school, or for dropping one on the floor. Also when her daughter was parroting "it's okay that she has more fat" I was like "she has more PLASTIC, she is a DOLL, FFS"
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I'm 20 and I still refuse to throw away any stuffed animals because part of me still thinks they have feelings. Children need empathy but there's a point where it gets to be too much.
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I think my stuffed friends have "feelings", but I tend to think about it in a more chuckle-to-myself-way. Like I'll joke to myself that when I'm not home, my stuffed animals play with my Xbox and PS3, and use my computer to fart around on the Internet. I figure, well, I'm glad SOMEbody gets to enjoy my technological toys, since it ain't me!
Yes, I'm an adult. Why do you ask??
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my stuffed lion's porn searches are pretty fucked up.
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Why not? Sometimes it's the only way to teach your child empathy and respect.
I know that when I was a hyperactive, destructive kid, teaching me not to hurt the plants or the books because they're in pain worked.
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Same here. On the opposite end, I ended up always afraid that my toys were going to come to life, that I was always being watched, and being stressed that I was showing love to one stuffed toy more than the other... I still feel guilty sometimes haha
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Legitimate about the plants though. I work with plants and nothing annoys me more than people (especially adults) who sit there a rip the leaves or otherwise damage the plant. Ffs they are alive.
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"Gee mom, thanks for the baggage"-no one, ever.
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Actually, ascribing feelings to inanimate objects is good practice for learning social interaction with real Humans, which is why Children have this instinctive habit of doing it. It can definitely be encouraged.
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"Ripley, she doesn't have bad dreams cuz she's just a piece of plastic."
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Oh, Aliens, I love when you come into play at the most opportune times....
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How do you think barbie feels now that you've put her in the trash?She doesn't, because barbie is plastic.
How do you think mama feels now that you've put the Barbie she strongly identifies with in the trash?
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Bingo Bango Bongo! That's exactly it.
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lol this didn't happen
no kid just randomly blurts out stuff about thigh gaps and "fat is good"
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When I got to the part about the legs touching, I thought that this was either made up or she heard her mom talk about the thigh gap too much and internalized it.
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Sounded like indoctrination.
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Yes mama No mama No mama Yes mama
Assuming this actually happened, what kid talks like this? Every sentence starts like this.
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Military kids and kids raised in the south.
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Yes! That line about "legs that touch" set off my fake-story alarms.
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Eight year old me would have hated that Barbie. The stars of the show were always the ones with bendable arms and legs. The ones with only one set of bendable limbs could be the main girl's friends. The stiff ones could never hope to be anything more than the bitch character or background. Stiff Barbie has prettier hair than bendy Barbie? Their heads get switched. Either way, sorry about your feelings but fat Barbie is not getting played with
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I hear that Barbies now all have adjustable ankles so they can wear flats. Kids today have it too good.
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I felt a little piece of my childhood die when I saw the new Barbies a few years ago, that had much thicker waists that didn't pivot.
Also, when poking around trying to find info about Barbie causing eating disorders, there's a noticeable lack of, "Let's ask these anorexic women in recovery if their Barbie dolls caused this." Just a lot of rampant speculation from psychologists that the dolls may cause EDs.
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there's a noticeable lack of, "Let's ask these anorexic women in recovery if their Barbie dolls caused this."
yeah, even if they did, I don't think that's something particularly conscious....
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Having all the rest of my Barbies that can share clothing and then this one off Barbie that can only fit one outfit? That doll would have been a prime candidate for a terrible haircut.
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Yeah, mom totally didn't create this whole dialog for the purpose of blog posting.
The child told you up front why she got rid of it. But you had to tell her why her reasons weren't valid. She's a kid, and super pragmatic about living in the moment, but you had to make it about your own insecurities.
Well. Done.
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I hope this kid doesn't develop some kind of complex.
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Curvy barbie just looks like she has bigger hips than usual. She still looks relatively healthy and slim.
I'm guessing the kid was mad about the fact she couldn't have all her barbies use the same clothes.
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If she's such a good person, she should also be recycling the cans in her garbage.
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Guess you should’ve been smarter and bought more than one outfit for your kids toy. It’s not like your only option is one outfit.
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When I was a kid we were so poor I had to make my own Barbie clothes.
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I loved making my Barbie clothes, i used to make entire collections and stage a runway show!
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Here's a thought; how about instead of projecting your insecurities unto your daughter's toys, you teach her that plastic dolls aren't real and don't have human feelings and aren't representative of what real humans look like?
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Good luck trying to teach a child that inanimate things are inanimate. I would have turned around and kept talking to my toy cars and rocks.
But ofc you're correct, however it doesn't seem like the wise adult mother in this scenario understands that toy figures aren't standard goal bodies. Sounds like mom needs some talking to.
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Lady, your kid has already learned what every other sensible person who deals with you has had to learn: it's just easier to nod and smile when you get like that.
Also, you should give her credit for so thoughtfully posing that doll on its back atop a pile of suspiciously clean looking trash. That's one fastidious child you've badgered into compliance with your toxic rationalizations.
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"Just do you babes"
Unless "doing you" is having a preference for toys that triggers your mother's insane need to make every single thing about her. In which case you better fucking conform!
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Yes, indeed. Do what you want--but want the "right" thing!
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See, it would be great to promote body positivity in the sense that some people do just have different bodies (taller, fuller-figured, etc.) but to promote it in the sense that being fat is great and good and fun and healthy is just dishonest.
I'm all for more realistic-looking dolls within reason but this whole story reeks of thathappened-y and cringiness.
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associating being bigger with being a bad and less enjoyable thing
It is less enjoyable though, esspecially as a young child who, usually, wants to run around with her friends as much as possible.
I do agree with teaching children to be kind and respectful to all people and not to be mean to someone just because they look different, so I agree with bringing the bigger Barbie out of the trash and explaining that it's mean to throw her away...
But I'm curious what you guys think about the FAs currently bringing up the next generation. This mom is a fat positivity coach who frequently includes her five year old in 'teachable moments' in news articles and I'm wondering if the child is destined to be large as well or if her mom will be happy whatever body shape she ends up with. Will the next generation be even bigger than the current one or do you guys think once the obesity-related illnesses start to grow there will be a backlash similar to the anti-smoking campaigns of the 70s-90s and the next generation (or the one after them) will be slimmer again?
Also, I'm pretty sure this problem could have been solved if Curvy Barbie had two outfits. If she only has one and all her others have lots then of course she'll like CB the least out of all of them. She is the least fun to play with.
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I'm kind of amused by the notion of fat activists' children hitting their teenage years and rebelling by becoming super fit calorie-counting gym-going shitlords lol
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Sooooooo no joke this is exactly what I did when I went to college. "Free gym? Full salad bar? Oh bih it's on." My legit body/fitness goal was and will always be "to not look like my family" and after seeing them all yesterday I'd say I'm succeeding.
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Well done with that! My coping mechanism for not wanting to look or feel like my obese family was an eating disorder :(
(btw I love your username)
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That's terrible :( Hope you're doing better now
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OH please, let that happen.
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I think there's going to be a backlash against the current obesity crisis. A lot of young people today grew up seeing parents and other adult relatives struggle with obesity-related health problems. Young people in metropolitan areas, and young people with money, are currently quite health focused. And things with that group trickle down, what they do in one period of time often becomes mainstream within 10 years.
And you're right on the Curvy Barbie thing. Speaking of which, whenever I see someone trying to make a "realistic" and "wholesome" alternative to Barbie, I always know it's doomed to fail because it lacks options. Barbie isn't popular just because she's pretty, she's popular because she can be damn near anything. Even a kid who doesn't like fashion and makeup will often take the pretty doctor or scientist or soccer player over the "realistic" doll who only has boring, realistic, casual clothing. While Curvy Barbie could use more outfit options (though really, the same could be said for the petite and tall Barbies that were released alongside her) she at least has different skintone options and different hair color and style options. There's one with blue hair that looks totally bomb.
Side note, while looking for Curvy Barbie outfits, I also noticed that they released two new body types for Ken. I didn't know that. And both the Barbies and the Kens in the Fashionistas line (where the new body types were released) have such a big variety in skin and hair! And Barbies have adjustable ankles now, to wear flats! Kids these days have it so good!
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You’re thinking of Lammily, right? That’s where my thoughts went when you mentioned realistic and wholesome. While she’s a good doll in theory, in practice she is lackluster. I remember watching the Kickstarter video for her years and years ago, and I thought it was a nice concept... until I saw the finished result. So disappointing.
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Lammily is one, but there have been many others that never caught on. Not many kids want dolls and action figures that are "realistic", they want something exceptional. Most of Lammily's outfits, and the other "realistic" Barbie alternatives, are normal casual clothes. If you want to make a doll that's a better role model (I'll refrain from writing a 10 paragraph defense of Barbie even though I totally could) or whatever, fine, but you'll only succeed on a larger scale if kids actually like the toy. Don't make a "normal girl", make a marine biologist with a wetsuit and an orca buddy. Make a park ranger with a cool jeep and a walkie talkie, maybe throw in a baby bear she can rescue. Shoot, make a warrior queen with an armored unicorn and a big sword, spear, and shield set so she can defend her fantasy kingdom.
Now, the American Girl dolls I guess are more realistic and still successful, but they do that because they offer a story. Each girl is a character. Compared to Barbie, who is a blank slate, which a lot of people mistake for being shallow and dull, but really it's so little girls can imagine her as anything and anyone.
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Oh, absolutely! I agree with you. I loved American Girl dolls when I was a child due to the character stories and the period-accurate accoutrements that could be purchased for them.
I never got into Barbie, though; I’d occasionally pine for a specific doll release due to her outfit or hair, but I always lost interest pretty quickly.
I guess that’s why, when I think of Barbie, I tend to focus superficially on the doll’s appearance rather than the (far more legitimate) blank slate appeal for little girls. However, I was that way with My Little Pony (first generation); the ponies’ cartoon characters possessed little in the way of personalities, so when I played with them, they could be anything.
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I wonder in what reality they think that having a higher bodyfat percentage is in any way advantageous for an already-healthy person.
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Let's see... there's that oft-repeated misleading claim about fatter people being more likely to survive heart attacks, there's the utter bullshit about fat people statistically tending to live longer, there's the idea that being any thinner than halfway up the "overweight" region of the BMI scale means you're suffering from malnutrition, and I've even heard the argument that being fat makes you harder to strike or stab effectively. XD
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If you're going to write fiction you need to make it believable, not so glaringly obviously contrived.
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Sure, lady. Youbtotally didn't put that naked doll in the trash yourself for a photo op
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Anyone else catch curvy Barbie layin' on them Diet Coke cans?
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Hey, you're right! Why are those not in the recycling bin??
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He-man was a huge deal when i was a kid, tell me again the body pressures you're putting little girls under with their barbies.
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Totally!
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Curvy Barbie still has really thin arms, I don't buy the "her arms aren't right" at all. Also, if she only has one outfit, of course your kid isn't gonna like her as much. Buy some more damn outfits for Curvy Barbie.
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That is supposed to be 'Curvy Barbie' ? Looks more like 'still far from FA territory' Barbie to me.
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This definitely happened.
It does come across a bit r/wokekids
A bit?
Honestly, the r/thathappened is right from the “found it in the trash” like a little kid wouldn’t throw it away, they just wouldn’t play with it.
Also the unnecessary excessive detail of wiping crumbs off of the granite counter tops, lmao. Screams r/thatHappened for sure.
Yep, extra detail is one of symptoms of (poor) lie. People think that extra detail will make story more believable when in fact it's just giveaway.
When lying you have to do the opposite, skimp on detail and let listener fill them. Just be ready to tell when asked.
But how else will people know she has classy granite countertops, not laminate like some kind of pleb?
Also the fact that the Barbie is perfectly straight and laying so that her face is visible, when you know most kids would throw the Barbie in without care, legs mangled and all.
They'd probably also try to bury it under some of the other trash.
I can kind of see a less exaggerated version happening. Like maybe she noticed her daughter never plays with the "fat" Barbie. For one, I've read a few articles about the "chubby" Barbie not testing well with little girls.
If all the dolls looked like that one, though, I don't think anyone would think it was a "fat" doll. It looks pretty average, has a defined waist, etc. It's probably just because she's the ONLY one the kid has (so it's compared to the others) and she has no clothes for the doll.
If it's that important to the mom, she should buy her kid more clothes for that doll and see what happens. Also, if she REALLY wants to be inclusive, I hope she also bought her daughter the taller and skinnier barbie, the short petite one, etc.
That's what I was thinking. Some little girls like Barbies for the sake of playing dress up and she couldn't do it with that one. That seemed to be what she was saying.