[1502] Blerg 2: Electric Blergaloo

Hey I posted this story a couple weeks ago, and am trying to get better at writing, so I tried to edit the story up based on criticism. Sort of checking if I can properly respond and edit based on peer feedback. Still don't know what to title it, and I think I changed it enough to make it a sequel. I think the purpose of the piece is to describe a standoff.

My Previous critiques:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/8yy9py/1121_my_boy_short_story_on_drug_abuseinner_demons/

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/8v4fo6/2259_the_things_we_hurt/

My Story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Of9Ccg2UZk7_jqHoykupm83lLdVl5EK181cYxnRRrV4/edit?usp=sharing

My Previous Submission of the same Story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/8vjtg9/1565_blerg/