Up High, Down Low
I never stopped to think
That I might be one of the unlucky ones
Who fall in love without abandon.
But how can you classify
Such a sick, deadly obsession as love?
It's simple.
The millions of tiny bugs
Marching in unison across my flesh,
Like the most delicious stimulation
Without the shameful need for human contact,
And the sudden feeling,
No, certainty,
That this was everything and more.
She met my friends,
But only after being inside me,
That delicate chill running through my body,
Into my brain,
Because I craved the raw pleasure.
I found her selfishness endearing
At first,
Begging me with nagging words.
"Here baby, hide in the bathroom,
Let me get you there."
The isolation came on slowly.
The paranoia came on quickly.
No more friends to meet,
Only her and I alone in my room,
All of my energy focused on her.
Her dedication dwindled as mine grew.
One hundred, two hundred, three hundred,
Four.
What can I do to afford
Some more?
Just be a whore?
Just suck some cock,
Just steal a glance,
Just show some skin.
Make them really want you.
Then scurry back to her
Like the rat that you are.
Spend hours poking and pulling
In a public bathroom,
Dirty lights overhead,
Dirty floor down below,
Dirty person in between.
Something's gotta give.
Where the fuck did all my veins go?
Why the fuck am I always sick?
How the fuck did I become this
Hollow zombie
Chasing tail for a little normalcy?
Leave me alone,
But please don't go.
I need you.
.
Feedback:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/c7vldj/smoke_buddies/esjxxy1?utm_source=reddit-android
Posted Jul 2, 2019, 6:12 AM UTC
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the way it made me assume it was about 1 thing, but invited me to read once or twice more to see what was really going on (and then discover that it was indeed about something else the whole time (probably)). I’d be interested to read other pieces.
Thank you! It is about addiction. I purposely made it seem like it was about a struggle with an abusive partner because, essentially, that's the best way I know of how to describe what being addicted to something that could kill me (and almost did, quite a few times) was like. I am glad you enjoyed it!