I think I'd only want a child if I could be a stay at home parent

My experience with stay at home parents is that the happy ones are the ones who keep an active adult social life. The ones who join parent groups and go to the park together with people or who do activities with other adults and their kids. The ones who seem unhappy are the ones who literally have no other social outlet than their kid. That doesn't seem healthy for them or for their kid. That's just my opinion though.

Me! I can!

I love being a sahm. Been at it five years and I'm one of those people who half-jokes about having a second set of kids in our late forties so we never have to be emptynesters...

The hallmark moments are great! The other stuff is pretty good and fulfilling too, if it's what you signed up for.

I think the key to parenting is being flexible (you won't know if you need to stay home or go back to work until you experience it), and just wanting it. You know, like, feeling like you made a choice - like, deep down in your gut, you wanted to be a parent.

I would hate to be a working parent, but I'd make do of I had to! Definitely enjoy being a sahm. I like all the me-time I get. Like, I get to decide what happens. I get to check out for a few minutes when I need to (I mean, gotta always keep an eye out, but kids will play). I love wearing leggings!

BTW, I live on a lonely mountain and rarely see other adults beside my husband, and that's how I like it. I do have a close network of friends who I frequently speak with on the phone. My husband is a super active parent, so I get lots of breaks when he's around, but his works means he's sometimes gone for weeks at a time. Still love being a sahm!

Good luck!

Ok so. This was me. I hated my old job. Commute was long in a city with the absolute worst traffic, and the work environment was toxic (literally half of us didn’t renew our contracts). The only reason I didn’t resign after my maternity leave was that my contract stipulated that I’d have to pay out the rest of my contract if I quit before the school year ends (am a teacher). Being a SAHM may or may not be for you, but don’t let your sucky job determine that. It may be a no-brainer to you right now because you don’t love your job and you’ll (presumably) love your kid, but it’s also possible that you’ll be the type of mom that’s happier and healthier as a working mom, and you’re just stuck at the wrong job right now. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a way to determine that until you actually have a kid.

My set up right now is I work part time, at a school that’s walking distance from where I live. So far I haven’t missed any milestones and I enjoy all my “Hallmark moments,” but I also have enough adult socialization to keep me sane, and because my work environment is much healthier now I actually look forward to going to work from time to time. It’s not an option for some people (usually because of childcare costs) but for me it’s the best of both worlds.

I can definitely relate. I think that having to have a job to live comfortably is my number one reason to be on the fence. If I won the lottery or my husband made as much as we make together I think I would do it in an instant. But having to work and send a child to daycare, and then them getting sick often while I'm exhausted sounds terrible. I really dont understand how moms work full time. I also cant relate to stay at home moms who complain or call it a full time job (sorry if that comes off as rude...I'm definitely a little jealous)

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