at least my dog sits with me

Jeez what a dark note that ends on. I do relate to this, I worry how much I can be on my phone when compared to caring for my dog, and I always try to make it up with long walks and cuddles and such. It is such a visceral feeling though, feeling like you’re not giving them the attention they deserve. Great work!

I love the shape of the poem.. in fact its what first caught my attention and made me read through it. And what I liked is that you didn't badly affect the line breaks in order to do so. Its perfect haha. I do constantly experiment with line lengths and forming a pattern throughout the poem (like a shape). Just happy to see a nicely implemented version.

Regarding the content. I was a little confused at first. With the dog, and the person in bed, and the person he/she is talking to and you, you see too many characters all at once in a very short poem.. not a bad thing, but just somehow didn't come to me. But I got the general theme. Then I read your explanation and then read the poem again.. this time I could see exactly what you meant.. perhaps mention the point of view, as you did in the explanation after, in the poem...

But again, poems are supposed to be ambiguous and if everyone can picture out a meaning for themselves, I suppose it is a success.

Nice one in general :)

I like the way the poem tapers down into simpler ideas, really echoes the kind of downward spiral when a relationship isn't going the right way or anyone experiences any sort of pain. You overthink things, you lose your passion, you become drenched in despair.

Love that brotato 👍

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I really liked the simplicity of the poem yet such deep meaning is engraved. I like the shape of the poem too I feel like the slowly descending line lengths mirrored the owners mind being gradually consumed by the phone such a nice touch

I very much enjoyed the imagery of laying on one's back talking on the phone and laughing. It brought back memories of a time when I had to sneak long distance calls to friends who moved away because it cost extra money.

The title gives a little glimpse of happy and I really appreciate mulling that over with the last couple of lines.

A good, clean, trim poem. Thank you for sharing.

The poem is a little over my head which is a good thing, it leaves me wondering what you're trying to say, and there's certainly nothing wrong with having an ambiguous poem. So personally I'm not sure how to feel because I can't tell if you're writing about a person or a dog, but maybe that's the point.

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I loved it

I loved the progression of the lines. Felt like the words were starting to be hard to get out and the voice was getting more quiet.

It’s a really nice play on hurt and how every word can feel like a dagger to get out.

The dog isn’t really part of the poem apart from the title, or?

This is so amazing. I don’t have the time to comment more but I wanted to tell you I love this so much. I don’t think you could have done it any better