Just started working out again after 6 months off. the new job doesn't work the body like the old one. Was humming along on the elliptical trying to push myself. Started to get tunnel vision and went to the locker room to lay down on a bench. Woke up with three people picking me up off the floor. So humiliating. Anybody else want to share a story of too much too fast that led to awkwardness?
Posted Jun 7, 2012, 2:01 AM UTC
"Fell out" - story did not go where I was expecting it to.
"What if at a key moment in the squat my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?" From the film, A Squat of their Own.
You think there are men in this gym that ain't seen your bosoms?
Wet farts during deep squats
always shit before squats
always shit before any workout
am i doing something wrong if i don't shit before working out and haven't gotten close to shitting my pants yet? fuuuccckkkkk
Happened to me today during deadlifts. ಠ_ಠ
Wet farts during deep squats during deadlifts?
That's some pretty solid workout optimization.
Okay, I laughed.
For the life of me I cannot understand why anyone with even a modicum of common sense wouldn't deuce it up before any heavy lifting.
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It's my freshman year of highschool. I'm trying out for the football team after having only played one year. Coach encourages people wanting to play to come to the gym, get an idea of weight lifting. So I head over, never having lifted a weight in my life.
So after bench, I'm getting ready to do squats. It's just me, the coach, and the coach's son (also on the team) hanging out by the squat rack. I'm not sure how to do these, so coach has his kid bust out a couple reps to show me.
I work my way up, settle under, and try one. Down, and up. "Not low enough, you have got to act like you're about to sit down" is what coach tells me. So I drop low again, feel the strain, and blow my ass cheeks apart with a ferocious fart on the way up. I almost stop right there, but coach, while in between gulps of laughter, tells me to keep going since it's a max. I grit my teeth, set my stance, and squat again. Same deal on the way up. And again. Rep after rep. I apparently had 14 years of built up gastric pressure that this particular set of squats was wanting to unleash from my system.
So here I am, chunky little freshman pounding out a sorry amount of weight on squats, farting regretfully during each rep, as my soon to be coach and his kid have trouble holding themselves up from all the laughter. "Keep going, one more rep!" They manage to say a couple times while my ass is sounding off like there's a brass symphony warming up. 14 reps and 14 juicy farts later, I know my squat max, and the coach and his son know my "brand", if you will.
I hope you're joking.
I'm ashamed to say I know this feel.
Ouch.
Meh... Try ripping/tearing countless boxers during squats thinking they were the outer shorts =(
This happened to a friend of mine doing a deadlift in front of me. He squatted down, farted, and ripped his pants. My dad still hasn't let him live it down...
I've ripped my fair share of boxers on kettle bell swings. Typically when I think I'm wearing the boxer briefs that stretch.
That instantly recognizable "crack" as the rear seam explodes in one swift and violent motion and a cool breeze wafts at my nether regions. Time to free ball the rest of the sets!
I've since just bought more pairs of those underarmor boxers to avoid these things.
I was running 3 times a day at this point in my life, and very flexible, I was out clubbing one night when I decided to bend over and stretch my hamstrings, folding my body in half for a stretch, the mix of alcohol, dancing and lack of proper nutrition combined to have me do a somersault on the dancefloor, and kick a super hot club girl right in the tits with both heels. Needless to say she was not impressed, and the bouncers, thinking I was just drunk threw me out on my ass. I woke up with people pouring beer on me, I was just thankful it wasnt the warm, recycled type.
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The ripping sound on the bottom of the squat is pure horror. Experienced it the other day for the first time.
What are y'all wearing that rips during squats? I'm always wearing either running shorts or rugby shorts and neither even gets tight, they just ride up some.
football nickers(soccer), they did kinda rip during a heavy squat...
Tore my shorts multiple times doing squats. Also hurled at the gym once.
Good times.
I passed the fuck out doing deadlifts once. I'm pretty sure it was because I didn't breathe properly before doing it.
The gym was rather empty at the time, though. Some dudes benching didn't even notice it until I stood back up and they were like, "Damn dude, you pass out?" I was still pretty out of it when I stood back up and replied, "Uhh I don't know, maybe. I was on the ground... Yeah, I guess I did."
I completed the fucking rep though.
I did the same thing after doing a clean. Cleaned, put the bar down, felt light headed, then woke up on the ground. My friend was like "dude, did you just faint?"
If I faint again, I'm going to answer with, "Naw, just wanted to take a power nap real quick." Hopefully my mental capacities will be working enough to answer with that.
I was doing leg press with 450lbs. Trying to push it made me rip the biggest fart in my life.
It's such an awkward position to be in when your quads are pushing against your gut with so much force. Farts man.. Farts.
I just turn the music up in my headphones. If I didn't hear it, didn't happen.
Sadly, this doesn't work so well in crowded elevators :(
First time doing a chest/tri circuit after about 8 months of lifting. Was on the bench and lifting to failure (my chest and triceps were already exhausted) thought I could push out one more rep and failed miserably, some dude came running to my aid and lifted the bar off my chest. I felt like a complete failure.
Plus side, saw the guy that helped me a week later. He asked to "work in" while I was on the bench and spotted me like a champ. He pushed me hella hard and got a few extra reps out of me that I couldn't have done on my own. I am pretty sure the guy was just looking out for me after the mis-hap the previous week.
Good Guy Gymbro.
I was running on a treadmill when i lost my footing and tripped, I hit the treadmill and then got shot off the end of it into the treadmill behind the one I was using, I got up and had a track mark on my face from where I collided with the treadmill's track.
On the rare occasion I use a treadmill this is what scares me the most. I'm not too agile.
I use an exercise bike when I do cardio now. I don't trust my foot placement.
Yeah that's what I always do too. It's a lot easier on my joints.
Yes, that is another reason that I use a bike, I don't want to do a lot of impact cardio
In high school we had to run a 7 minute mile to get an A on our gym final exam. I clocked in at 6:50 then promptly puked my guts out. Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of running.
Should have studied harder.
Not for nothing, but arbitrary numbers like that in gym class were part of what made me waste years of potential training time thinking that I was just too slow/weak/uncoordinated to work out. I think it's shameful that gym teachers end up making people hate exercise.
On two occasions I've split my pants doing squats.
Another time I failed a rep on bench press (was about 100kg I think) without a spotter, but managed to move the weight down to my waist and sit up, then stand up, without anyone really noticing. Then I turned around on the spot, with the goal of racking the bar. Unfortunately I spun around too fast and the weight plates on one side slipped off the end and crashed onto the floor, and then, because the bar was unevenly weighted, the weights on the other end also slipped off and crashed onto the floor. I was left holding an empty bar with people staring at me.
Why wouldn't you just place the bar on the bench and re-rack it from the other side?
Because I had already stood up and thought it would be easier to just turn around.
So humiliating
You mean "Worked out to the point of passing out". That's actually kinda awesome.
Thanks. Mind was more willing than the body.
A couple months ago I was working on trying to do a pull up. I had just walked into the gym and got in the way of some dude by putting a box underneath the bar so I could actually reach it (note: I'm a not-tall girl). I was supposed to start at the top of the bar and slowly lower myself.
I grabbed onto the bar, hung there for half a second, and something in my chest "popped". I let go, fell to the floor, and just laid there in pain in the fetal position for a couple seconds. Then I couldn't get up because I kept trying to use the hurt arm.
Finally got up. No one came over or asked if I was okay, but the entire weight floor was looking at me. I kicked the box out of the way, picked up my keys, and walked out like that was what I came there for.
you should have gotten up and exclaimed loudly "THAT's ONE!" then grabbed the bar ackwardly again, proceed to fall the ground and resume fetal position, gotten back up and said "THAT's TWO"...
harsh.
Hope you're ok.
lol, I'm fine. Took about a week off, taking it easy and icing my boob. I'm fine and back to lifting.
Just embarrassing.
Glad you're ok. any idea what happened?
I can't imagine seeing someone get injured in my gym and half the gym not rushing over to see if the person is ok.... that's just insane to me that people could be that dickish.
Regardless, if you're going to start back at the pullups, maybe try to ease into it with lat pulldowns in the event that your injury is still not 100%.
That's what I did. This was a couple months ago.... maybe in April? I'm fine now and back to trying to do pull ups. Like I said, after taking some time off, I was back to normal.
I have no idea what happened. I asked reddit and reddit told me to go to the Dr. However, I think I pulled one of my pectoral muscles.
Honestly, I appreciated that no one said anything. It gave me the chance to bow out and disappear. I think it was just so sudden that they were more shocked than dickish.
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This type of thinking is very beta. Do NOT care about what other people think of you. Don't get embarrassed. Be comfortable with yourself even if you make a mistake, no excuses/crutches.
I would think: I just got back into the gym after 6 months off. I went a little too hard a little to early and fell off a bench. Oh well, I gotta pace myself better next workout.
Don't let what other people may or may not think about you affect you.
Good luck back in the gym!
So true man. I know I would never have been able to achieve any of what I have if I didn't in the beginning decide that not a single fuck would be given to what anyone thought of the fat guy trying to run on the treadmill. I still try to send good thoughts to people who I can tell feel self conscious at the gym.
Beta is being unable to realize when an obviously sarcastic comment is a joke
And copypasta
Copied from myself in the other thread. Keep up the good detective work there Sherlock. We'll work on your deductive skills together sometime.
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Disregard others, acquire swole.
fixed
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What about the wet farts issue?
tape.
cover the arsehole with it
Black tape.
The white stuff just doesn't cut the muster.
*Doesn't cut the mustard
Is it bad that I'm so clumsy that the tape isn't faking it for me?
No one cares anyway.
I had surgery on my knee last Tuesday and I went to the gym in crutches multiple times already, and only two people so far cared enough to ask me about it or give me a thumbs up for dedication. I have white compression stockings wrapping my whole leg and I wore shorts so it wasn't subtle at all.
Playing water polo one time I forgot my team suit so I had to an old, worn out suit. So we're playing and my defender grabs me by the butt of my suit to spin me (common move) and totally rips my suit. So I'm swimming until my coach notices and we cat get a time out with my butt hanging out. As a high schooler, this was pretty hilarious but embarrassing.
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...Eat after you work out? Not before?
Over a year and a half ago now I let the bar in the cage go flying when unloading half of 120kg worth of plates off one side without counter balancing the other.
I was in my head and should have known better but whoever left the fucking plates up there is still a cunt. Luckily no one else was near by and all I got was a few "Oh shit" comments.
I was running on a treadmill about a month ago, and I was on a diferent one that I wasn't used to. The one I usually use when you press the stop button it stops almost automatically. So I look at the time and realize the zumba class I go to was going to start pretty soon so I needed to hurry cause the class gets packed quickly. I press the stop button and stop when I think it should have stoped but it didn't stop so it takes me to the end of it and the I fall on my but. People tried not to laugh but I was laughing so hard so they were laughing pretty hard too.
ran a few miles on the mill got in the hot tub went to take a shower started to grey out (everything was black and white and I couldn't hold myself up) felt my pulse was racing and kept thinking "I'm not dying in the shower at the YMCA damnit" vision went totally dark came too still standing in the shower holding onto the walls with the guy in the shower stall across from me looking at me very concerned.
I was sparring with someone in judo, I went for the move so fast I farted. Sensei joked on how that was my turbo.
I once won a wrestling match I was losing by farting in my opponent's face. He was confused and dropped my legs, so I shot a single and finished with a pin.
I had the opposite! Grappling with this guy (known for farting in class), he's sliding me toward a triangle choke and things are not looking good for me. Suddenly he farts and is so embarrassed to fart in a girl's face he loosened his grip enough that I could pass the leg and scuttle around to side mount.
I am picturing peach vs wario here...
Heh, maybe a little although I rarely grapple in a princess dress....
Oh man, are there actually any rules against this kind of thing? That would be one hell of a crazy edge to use.
Rule 19: If, while in a disadvantageous position, one wrestler willfully uses bodily functions as a component of his defense, said wrestler shall be given a warning and the match restarted in neutral position. Upon second infraction, the wrestler shall be penalized one point.
Wow, that was a very definitive answer. Guess you got away with it? I wonder what punching is classified under if not a "bodily function".
Swallowing helium has the dual advantage of making you lighter for the weigh-in and providing plenty of ammunition to use should the fight start badly for you!
I was training one night when a guy added a little extra after I was on my back by playfully punching me in the gut; I farted really loud.
The first and only time I have sparred with a UFC fighter, I farted on him twice.