[3045] Hide and Seek

First time submission. I decided I need some stranger's eyes on this and that it's my turn to get a taste of my own medicine.

I've already gotten rejections for this guy, but hopefully someone might have some suggestions for where it could be published if it's worth it.

Edit* This piece was split in half, so it'll abruptly end.

Thanks in advance.

Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EcGj4Hx9nHRTsGnlfpviEEH8ICPoQDd5S2Iim9w5prA/edit?usp=sharing

Here are the crits:

A (spec Fic) Masterpiece? [890]

[1310] Witch Genes

[3170] Homesick <--this link has a lower word count in the title, but the author did an edit, which is the version I read, without including that in the title. However, the wordcount change is listed at the bottom of their post.

[2385] A Noose Around A Rose