[3499] The Knight of Earth (V2) - Chapter 1

Hello everyone! Hope you’re all having a great weekend.

I’m back with V2 of my fantasy novel. I got 38k words into V1 and realized the plot was nonsensical, several characters’ development weak, and the romance subplot hackneyed in. Looking back, my V1 outline was quite thin, with often only a few lines of info per chapter, no scene break-down, and many character sheets empty. I set myself up for failure before even considering the quality of writing. So…back to the drawing board I went!

I’m almost done outlining V2 before I start writing in earnest. That said, I’ve gone ahead and re-wrote just the first chapter of the narrative. I’ve tried to take everyone’s advice about V1 to heart, even picking up my first craft book for help (thank you u/Fourier0rNay for the reco!). Hopefully I fared a bit better this time.

 

The Knight of Earth (V2) - Chapter 1

Content warnings: >!violence, themes of suicide!<

 

A few specific questions:

• Did you feel that too much, or too little, was revealed about Damien?

• Was the opening scene intriguing enough to want to read on? If not, what was missing for you?

• How was the pacing, especially in scenes 2 / 4?

 

All other feedback, no matter how critical, is greatly appreciated.

 

Critiques:

[2403] Noose Around a Rose, Ch. 21

[3607] A Torn Sky, Ch. 2

[1629] The Girl and the Witch, Ch. 2

[1840] Temple of Redemption, Ch.2, Pt. 1

[2446] Daemon.ize, Ch. 1

Total: 11,925