[5707] The Curse of Castle Ruthurford

Here is the link to my story.

Here are the links to my critiques, mods let me know if this is acceptable:

[3231], [2689], [2167], [2264] = [10,351]

Some of my concerns below, I'm putting spoiler tags on it to avoid from biasing anyone.

!So last time I tried to edit down my story to around 2000 words because I really wanted to focus on telling a concise short story and hopefully getting better at story telling that way. This time I tried not to worry too much about trimming things down, as a consequence I do feel like this story is too long, let me know if you feel similarly. I feel like any tension is lost just from the sheer size of the piece. I want to know if you feel like this piece is boring, or like you're having trouble paying attention. !<

!My second fear, and a common element of my work, is the ending making no sense. Last time I thought i was being obvious but in retrospect I never really laid anything out properly, or i just cut too much out. This time I tried to lay down a clearer progression of events: !<

!Eoin's father dies and family blames Eoin supposedly bc father expressed depressed suicidal-like sentiments to him shortly before his death. Eoin is left a castle, and learns that every one of his ancestors died at 20, that they are painted posthumously, and their possessions plundered and brought to the castle. He blames Inga, because of how possessive she is of the castle and its legacy, but after twenty years he starts to experiance the same visions, and pains he did when he first moved to the castle. He returns to the secret room, and finds the earliest memoir left by the original son who talks about the actual curse of the rutherford line, being descended from vampiric monsters. He abandons his family to be cured by a monk, but is worried the cure will not last forever, and that the family he is trying to escape will find him once he is no longer mortal. The corpses flicker in and out of view, just like the vampiric sisters do, (hopefully) revealing that after the protection wanes, the forefathers are all murdered and kept alive in excrutiating torment eternally as penance. The story ends with one of the daughters of ruthorford, controlling Eoin's son, and preparing him to kill his father. Renewing the cycle of father being betrayed by son, just as Eoin's original ancestor betrayed the mother vampire. !<