Doctor_Chill

Jake: Hi, you're watching Jake and Amir

Amir: Press one for more options

Jake: Not a call center.

Int. Office Day. Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks in silence. Jake is typing something, while Amir is sitting there staring off into space.

Amir: Question.

Jake looks at Amir, rolls his eyes, and keeps typing.

Amir: Jake...Jake...Jaaake....

Jake rolls his eyes and continues typing

Amir: Question for Jake. Jake Hurwitz. I got a package with one question for Jake Hurwitz courtesy of Amir Valerie...

Jake: What?!

Amir: Question.

Jake: I know you have a question I'm asking what it is...

Amir: We've been cowor

Amir: This episode is dedicated to all the teachers who told me...

Jake: You're watching Jake and Amir

Amir: It was all a dream!

Int. Office Day. Jake is at work typing at his computer and Amir is arriving, wearing a Spider-Man costume.

Amir: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a Spider...

Jake: Nope.

Amir: Excuse you.

Jake: Excuse you

Amir: No, excuse you...

Jake: You just showed up to work at 2 PM wearing a Spider-Man costume. You've been late every day for the past 8 years, and when you are here I have never, not once, seen you do work.

Amir: Work is for grandmothers and dweebs, and guess what?

Jake: Don't s

I know I have more to offer and I just want to give it. I get that this depression is a part of me, that it's going to come and go and that I'll never really be happy long term. I just want to give what I can to the world artistically and personally before the depression does me in, which it will one way or another probably.

I'm young, but instead of spending my first year of college getting laid and having fun I spent most of it with this depression. I was able to do some shit in my artistic outlets, but I've been so low that the social stuff is just useless. I was at a party last night but it all just felt empty to me.

I have friends that care, and I feel selfish for causing them all of

First off, sorry I've been posting here so much lately.

Anyway, every day I always have these points where I'm hanging out with people and laughing and happy. And I always think that's gonna be the growing theme of it, that I'm finally done with this spell of it. Then it always comes back and hits me again.

Some days are 20 happy hours and 4 depressed ones, others are all depressed and others are more depressed than happy but I can't remember the last time I had a day of being happy the whole day through, probably not in a while.

Other people talk about feeling numb all the time. I wish I could do that, instead of this daily false hope and crashing. I wish I could just be numb, or even d

Fuck you.

Fuck you for hitting me at random times throughout my day and making me think I'm either free when my mind is off it or think that this is gonna be a never ending spiral if it persists.

Fuck you for making me feel unable to focus on a single task for more than a few seconds, making me stare off into space in the middle of typing this sentence.

Fuck you for giving me these warped thoughts about how everybody must hate me, how I'm not good enough.

Fuck you for making me doubt your existence at times, making me wonder if it's a grand ploy to romanticize myself.

Fuck you for robbing me of my sense of self, making me cringe about everything I've done and been even after I've grown

so im hitting my bong in my dorm and chilling when I notice it's all ash. I empty it into my trash then I look down and smoke's coming out of my trash. now if the smoke alarm goes off my college has to send university police in to search your room so that would be not good for me right now. So i look in my room and i dont see water, thn i look at my bong. I sigh and dump my bongwater into the trash and the flame is out. I took the trash out without getting caght but here i am at a solid (7.4ishmaybe?washigherusnday0- listening to YU and thinking how bad it would be if i got caught taking that trash out.

tl;dr I was, something happened, you read,

Is the best man. This cool dude just gave me a bike the first time we met and all my Pokemon are rad.

Sup Ents? Are any of you guys taking a T-Break until Sunday, and if so for how long? I myself am in the midst of a week long break, getting work done, writing my play, and preparing with snacks and Febreeze for Sunday's wake-and-bake break breaker.

Jake is sitting at his computer, typing silently. Cut to Pat sitting at his desk with a broken arm and a black eye. Amir walks out of the Boss's office (not sure who's the fake Boss in LA yet) flabbergasted

                     AMIR

Two weeks of sensitivity training? How is that fair?

Jake rolls his eyes, Pat looks angry, and Jake sits down

                     AMIR

What did I even do to deserve this, this indentured servitude?

Still no response

                     AMIR

Jake...Jake...you won't believe Boss-Man. He's making me...

                     PAT

Shut the fuck up Amir! Alright? You already ruined this day for me now at least do me the courtesy of being qui

INT. OFFICE, DAY. JAKE IS SITTING AT HIS DESK TYPING, CUT TO AMIR WALKING INTO THE ROOM DRESSED AS A LEPRACHAUN, CARRYING A GIANT 4 LEAF CLOVER

                 JAKE
           No, dude, come on.

AMIR speaks in an extremely racist Chinese accent

              AMIR 

Ching, Chong, bitch! Pot of da finest dank stank at the end of this rainBLOW. Happy 4/20 you [censored], Namaste.

                  JAKE
 Racist, wrong accent, inappropriate for the workplace, crass, 
and racist again. Jesus dude, it's 9:30 AM 

            *AMIR Pulls out an empty Chicken Nugget Box*

                 AMIR
          Really, because according to my WATCH


      

Just smoked something and not really sure if Indica or Sativa. It started pretty sativaish and I was smoking and laid down and almost had some sativa level anxiety but all of a sudden it now feels real indicay, things are chill and I'm tired, going to nap. does this happen to anyone else?

Sup y'all, here's a fan theory,

Jake and Amir will end with Amir losing his obsession with Jake and gaining it with Streeter.

Consider,

Jake started out as just a fairly clingy coworker with Jake before growing into a full on psychopath.

And that,

He is usually featured in a different light in Hardly Working, being seen in a light where, without Jake, he remains uninvolved in his occasional antics.

And that,

Jake is usually featured similar to the manner in which he is portrayed in Jake and Amir. Normal on the surface, but blatantly insecure.

And that,

Jake's rejection likely made Amir grow more insane.

And that,

Amir clings to other people, such as Mike Fink (Shia the Freaking B

Here's some:

1. Adventure Time
2. Jake and Amir
3. Cooking shows
4. Just fucking make shadow puppets dude
5. Or play a video game that's like watching and playing
6. Seinfeld, Louis, Always Sunny
7. Old Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy
8. South Park
9. Other shit
10. still typing at an [8] just ripped last bowl of night.

I was kind of moving my tongue around and its like i made a shitty knock-off mint lifesaver. But it's a normal mint.

Mints are good.