Ostraszed

I just found out the tamagotchi collab was running today. I didn't see any posts or anything about it til literally this morning. I had only saved 10k crystals because I have been burnt out and mentally struggling in my personal life and this was the one collab I was looking forward to most and I still feel so burnt out from this game, even just grinding one single card or one single event is exhausting and I don't think I can manage with this collab even though I grew up loving tamagotchi and hatsune miku, i am just so upset. This game takes up so much of my phones resources and the amount of stress my phone's hardware goes through just by having it open makes me not want to even try with t

It sucks knowing I don’t belong in this world, I am not allowed to succeed, be part of communities, have friends, or exist on any level because I’m “bringing down” those who are happy and confident. Those who were dealt a better hand are more entitled to life and connection than I am, and I have to fix myself for the comfort of those people, or continue to isolate myself as to not rain on someone else’s parade. It once again reminds me that my wellbeing is the bottom of all priorities, just like they always have been. I wish i had been luckier in life, because all of what I couldn’t control now leaves me shunned from the world just because I am not happy enough or easy to be around. It isn’t

My hands weak and I am tired. i hate myself, i hate my life, and i hate being a problem in everyone’s else’s life. People will be better off without me and i can tell my friends are sick of hearing about it

I push everyone away because i deep down know the abandonment will hurt more if i didn’t force them to leave in the first place. And i hate myself even more for ruining everything i care about

I am not human and i don’t deserve to be human, i don’t belong on this planet

I want to run a bath and fall asleep in it, i want to sink as my final goodbye

I don’t have the energy in my hands to say much, i am so tired. I want everything to end. I don’t want to get better i just want the noise to stop. I push everyone away in hopes of making everyone hate me because they eventually will anyway. I want to kill myself but I’ll probably fall asleep from wearing myself out. I am worthless. The life i lead is worthless

I will make everyone hate me, ill piss everyone off and make everyone around me uncomfortable, they were going to anyway and it’s about time i isolate myself in a way I’ve always deserved. I am not human, i don’t deserve to be human. I don’t care who i hurt with my violent suicidal ideation anymore. I don’t have reasons to stay on this pathetic planet with a pathetic species known as the human race. I don’t care, burn the earth to a crisp, pollute the atmosphere, i don’t fucking care anymore. Humanity isn’t worth saving, im not worth saving, and i will see you all in fucking hell

Hi guys, I am an aspiring musician and my favourite artist, Kesha, is hosting an open verse contest for her new song “ORIGAMI!” and I could really use some extra support on my entry

The top 30 on the leaderboard will have 5 finalists hand picked by Kesha, and the winner will win 1000 USD and may be officially released in collaboration with Kesha. I don’t want to get into my personal situation, but winning this contest would mean so much to me and I am starting to worry because I went from #7 to #14 within one day since submissions closed, and I have to stay within the top 30 until June 28th at 11:59 PM CT.

I’ll be honest, I don’t believe this contest is being run fairly based on my observ

Hi, apologies if this isn’t the proper place to put this, but I have written a verse for a contest I am entering which contains a limited amount of Japanese, I am not confident in my abilities beyond basic words or phrases yet since I am early into my studies, but I am looking for a second opinion to make 100% sure I haven’t left any errors

I use the phrase “こんばんは” which to my understanding means “good evening”

I also use the sentence “はしご酒, 二丁目から堂山” to reference bar hopping and two notably LGBTQ friendly districts (ni-chome & doyama), I’m more concerned about this sentence since it’s more complex than what I’m used to, I want to make sure im using から correctly, and especially im not certa

What is the point of wasting a chunk of my life and time on other human beings? I have already sacrificed so much for “friends” just for them to eventually move away, or find better people to spend their time with. Why am I the stepping stone friend who is made to feel crazy and clingy because “people have lives” “people are busy” as some flimsy excuse while fucking off with other people? These friends of mine make me feel entitled to people’s time like I already don’t spent 95% of mine in isolation. I’m tired of feeling obligated to play games I hate, or engage with specific people I don’t get along with because I’m desperate for connection and I’m tired of being stringed along with this bu