deadrs

I honestly feel so dumb and I’m reading through articles, asking friends for advice, and I’m just not getting it.

So, my bike has two front gears and 7 back gears. After riding for a few miles, I learned that you shouldn’t match big gears with small gears. I was riding with the biggest gear on the front, with a low gear on the back. Okay, lesson learned. Still a bit confused, but I’m getting there!

I was going up hill with the highest front gear and a low back gear, so how would I go about going uphill?

Let’s say I’m going from straight to uphill, my front gear is at 2(highest), my back gear is at like 5 or something. Before going uphill, do I change my front to the lowest gear, pedal a

For example: at work, I’m mainly in a medium sized room with 7 other people every day. These coworkers are fantastic people, great work ethics and great senses of humour. We all get together really well.

But most of the time, I’m quiet and in my head is just “What do I say? How do I even start a conversation? What if I stutter and say the wrong word or pronounce a word wrong or forget what I’m saying in the middle of talking or what if what i’m saying is boring?”

I need to get the fuck out of my head.

Does anyone have any advice or anecdotes that could help me? Any response is appreciated, thank you for reading.

Edit: also, to just talk about internet anxiety.. i’m rereading my title

I’m shaking right now and I can’t stop. I have an intense rush of adrenaline. I feel like something bad is going to happen. I feel selfish for being triggered by some kid who is obviously going through a rough childhood.

I feel so much. I feel for that kid.

I got let go of my job last week and currently waiting to start a new job soon. My old work changed payroll companies, so my pay is going to be delayed from July 20th until August.

I put the 20th of August down because I don’t have an exact date. I’ve been told the first week of August and I want to make sure I stick to my word.

Thank you for your consideration.

When I first got diagnosed 5 years ago, everything clicked. My impulsiveness, manipulation, and unstable behaviours could finally be pinned on one thing and one thing only, BPD.

Before I even heard of what BPD was, I desperately tried to figure out why I was this mentally mess of a person. Why I experienced different emotions in waves like a storm. Why I clung so tightly to toxic people, forcing myself to rethink my fucked up childhood.

It was easy to pin it on BPD. I also got diagnosed with other mental illnesses, and the fucked up part was that I felt so relieved. Relieved that EVERYTHING I do and say stems from these disorders.

I thought that way for 4 years and I’m ashamed of that.

A few people asked for an update, so here we GO!

It was nothing like I expected! I prepped myself with interview answers and statements of why they should hire me, they didn’t even ask! They went over my CV (resume) and while I was talking to them, I slipped my prepped interview answers in there!

They offered me a position after the interview! I find out next week when I’m starting!!! I’m so excited!!

I have horrible social anxiety where sometimes I just can’t put myself out there, so I like walking around my local park to kind of push myself back into civilisation.

After my walks, I like sitting on a bench and smoking a spliff. While I was sitting on the bench, a guy came up and sat down on the other half and asked for a lighter.

Then we just, talked. He passed a spliff to me and we talked about how you need to show yourself to the world and you need to get to the point in your life where you don’t give a fuck about what people think of you.

And it was just crazy to me. I was actively in conversation with someone and I barely stuttered. I pushed myself to be open to a stranger and

I moved to Derbyshire from California back in December 2017 and I have absolute terrible social anxiety. I have like 2 friends from work?

How do adults make friends without social media nowadays?

I’m a 24 year old female, if that helps. I’m into live shows, cars, nature.

I feel so daft. I haven’t ridden a bus before and I need to find a way from Derby to Ilkeston for work.

I don’t understand the images where it shows where the bus will stop and how do you even know if your stop is coming up?

Explain like I’m 5 and please pray for my dumb soul.

edit: Thanks to everyone who answered my questions! I feel pretty confident about my bus journey now :)

I’m tired of being in this hole that I’ve dug myself and I’m crawling my ass back up, no matter what!

Today, I went for a walk/run, worked out for 30 minutes, and ended it with yoga! I’ve also been listening to some self improvement podcasts (I recommend Self-Helpless). I really feel like I made a huge leap!!!!!

My current goals: healthier eating habits, practice self care, indulge in my hobbies instead of being a coach potato, and work on my mental health!

Edit: I also want to add that I had negativity thrown at me and usually I let people’s negative emotions bring me down, but nope! I’m ignoring it and enjoying my victory :)

Edit2: I didn’t expect to get this much attention and support