deftbeck

I've already written a bunch of episodes and I'd like to find an artist to illustrate them.

Please send me a message or reply with some contact info in the comments and we can talk.

This is a paid gig.

Link

This is a draft of the first chapter of a novel about a circus stuntman who returns to his hometown and has his past catch up to him.

I'm interested in seeing what you think of the setting, the pacing, the interactions between the characters and how well I foreshadowed the overarching conflict. Also, if the internal dialogue is too on-the-nose. Still working on incorporating that into my stories.

Thank you in advance for reading!

This is a short story set in the universe of my friend's sci-fi webcomic, Cosmic Dash[1] . Once I get some feedback from him and others, the story will likely be posted in the website's short stories section.

I am seeking general feedback and answers to the questions below.

Link

Questions

1.) Did you like the story?

2.) How was the pacing?

3.) Was the conflict clear?

4.) What did you think of the characters?

5.) Do the internal monologue/dialogue and environmental details work?

6.) Did the characters sound distinct?

7.) What did you think of the performance scene and the lyr

This is a short story set in the universe of my friend's sci-fi webcomic, [Cosmic Dash] (http://www.cosmicdash.com). Once I get some feedback from him and others, the story will likely be posted in the website's short stories section.

UPDATE: changed the link to the second draft UPDATE 2: changed link to the third draft UPDATE 3: changed link to the fourth draft

Link

Disclaimer: This story takes place in a sci-fi universe where aliens and humans mix. Along these lines, I'd like to provide a short glossary of alien races and terminology to reduce confusion.

Glossary:

Blassnaught:

Link

I'd like some general feedback, and I'd like some answers to a few questions:

1.) Did you think that I overplayed the main gimmick of the story?

2.) Was the flashback at the beginning necessary?

3.) How was the dialogue?

4.) Was the pacing alright?

5.) Did the characters seem fleshed out?

6.) Did you think the ending made sense? Did it end at an appropriate moment?