whatim

Okay folks, I need advice!

My totally non-horsey daughter got us an hour guided trail ride for Mother's Day. It's a super nice place, excellent reviews for animal care and a children's lesson program.

On the website it mentions tipping the wranglers is appreciated but not required.

How much would you expect to give them? Is it like 20% or a flat rate?

I've never been on a guided trail ride (in the US, did go horse trekking in Iceland ages ago). I usually just ride or take lessons on my own horse, so I have no clue.

This would be an intervention for enabling parent, not the pwBPD

My husband's sister (40f) has had a few diagnoses, including BPD and HPD.

She has had a lifelong pattern of getting into serious trouble, such as bankruptcies, divorces and car accidents then needing to be rescued and bailed out. Their mom usually continues bailing her out, after the rest of her friends and family give up.

At this point her mom is living with her and serving as her PCA. She threatens to commit suicide whenever her mom suggests that they reduce services. Unfortunately mom's health is getting bad as his dad's. He needs heart surgery that keeps getting delayed because there is no one to care for him at ho

Hey all -

I noticed that like a lot of us, I'm struggling a little. My PCP has me on buproprion, but sometimes I just need help getting out of my head.

I've messaged every nearby LCSW/therapist in my area and either they don't take my insurance or don't reply.

Can anyone suggest an online option that isn't a chatbot? I've seen the ads for Betterhelp, but I'm suspicious because of the bad press. Any suggestions?

Like lots of folks, my major issue is hyper vigilance/ anxiety. I am so tired of people telling me "That's just your anxiety talking" or "Try harder to silence your anxiety brain" or "That's not really what happened - it's how your anxiety saw it. Just try to relax."

That is what I am doing. All the time. The breathing exercises. The journaling. The antidepressants that make it impossible to sleep. I'm trying all the time to be acceptable. I can never relax. Never. But I'm always trying not to show it. I'm so tired.

Ladies, have you ever thought about stepping back/stepping down at work just because you are so OVER it?

I just no longer care about work. My job is fine - 90% wfh, boss is relatively flexible, I've been here for 10 years and moved up from intern to middle management. It's fine.

My family is fine. My husband does his share mostly, kid is healthy tween, we all get along okay. It's fine.

My biggest fear in life is that I'll never get a chance to just "be me" until I get too sick/injured to work and just waste away and die.

Since middle school it's been studying, working hard, getting degrees, getting jobs, saving money, grind, grind, grinding.

I get a couple of hours on the weeke

So I'm down with covid, so my husband and daughter (8) facetimed with his family while I was napping.

I'm not exactly sure what happened, but my daughter ended up outside my bedroom door, sobbing. Apparently, at one point in the conversation her cousins (8f, 11m) called her "spoiled" for still having her Halloween candy (their parents only let them keep the same number of pieces as their age). My daughter asked if everyone really thought she was spoiled and they all (aunts/uncles/grandparents) said YES.

But here's the thing - when I hear "spoiled" I think poorly behaved and fussy. She's very much not that. She does her homework without prompting, gets ready for school quickly, is very e

Question - Do you let your dog (particularly males) "water the plants" in your neighbor's yards when you go for a walk?

I'm not talking about: large trees/sign posts/fire hydrants.

I am talking about: Planters/personal mailboxes/small shrubs or perennials on the edge of lawns/the lawn itself.

My answer: Heck no, it's not my house! When I walk my boy, he is not allowed to mark on other people's property, within reason. Telephone poll, ok. Your lawn gnome, nope.

Am I being uptight/controlling?

How common are writing or editing skills tests as part of the interview process?

I work in a controlled industry (pharma) and our team is expanding to hire an additional person at the Senior/Principal level. My department head has asked me to put together a 20-30 minute test for reading comprehension and editing skills to screen the candidates.

We have never done this in the past (relied on portfolios and writing samples). The one instance where we did test applicants, it was to prove familiarity with a certain software that we no longer use.

My gut tells me that I would be irritated if a job did this to me, but I haven't been interviewing in a while. Is this now a common part of

Ugh. So I’m mostly just feeling sorry for myself right now and posting because I’m physically unable to cry.

Since I had my daughter, all my old child free friends dumped me (to be expected, really). I’ve always been a bit of a loner, but over the past few years, my handful of remaining friends have moved states. Other than work, my husband, my five year old, the only socializing I get is seeing my riding instructor once a week.

I became pretty friendly with another mom at daycare, who happens to live down the street. Our girls are buddies and our spouses get along. I introduced her to a coworker of mine, who has a baby the same age as her youngest. You see where this is going, right?

White-Cain, whose own church went bankrupt in 2012 and preaches the financially focused 'prosperity gospel,' said in a recent sermon that 'all satanic pregnancies' should miscarry now.

Most pro-life president ever, folks!

Her boyfriend ( the little boy she’s been inseparable from since they started nursery school at 3) just told her he likes another girl.

She ripping up all the cards and drawings he gave her. She wants her dad to throw them in the fire pit. “I won’t set him on fire, Momma, but I want to pretend to.”

She’s going to be a fun teenager 🙃

Ugh. So my daughter is one of the most social people ever born. I... Am not. But more than anything, she wants a big birthday party with all her friends and family.

Well, after putting her off for three years, this year she gets her wish. We are having like 40 people at this shindig. Tomorrow.

Only the caterer just backed out. Like, called me at 8:30 AM and said that they are understaffed and can't complete my order. An order I placed six weeks ago and confirmed last week.

I get my money back, but WTF am I supposed to do? No food, no cake, nada.

Oh and my husband's car is in the shop and he has mine, the contactors just dropped my kitchen flooring in the driveway, and my stomach

Okay, here goes:

Husband and I make about $250k (combined). Cars paid off, no student loans, five years left on the mortgage. We both have 401(k)s and IRAs that we are maxing out, plus an HSA and some various investment vehicles. One child, she is six.

Our financial advisor is suggesting we will need $750k to send our daughter to college. He is suggesting a 529 plan through his institution, that we begin contributing to aggressively, as we are 'already behind.'

Is this really the best plan? I understand the tax advantage if she uses that money for school. However, if she has the money in her name, won't that ruin her chances for financial aid? Is she screwed anyways, because we earn t

So my husband is great in a lot of ways. But he drinks. A lot.

Not every night, but most. He quits for a month now and then, usually before his physical. He doesn't get DTs, he goes to work, never drives it he's had a sip, but man, he drinks. A lot.

And I hate it. I hate that every day after 4:30 he reeks of boxed wine and cider. I hate that I need to drive every where in the evening, especially since I have poor night vision. I hate that his mood goes from jolly and wreckless to touchy and irritable to passed out and I have to make dinner, get the kids in bed and manage his drunk ass.

I hate that he doesn't remember it the way I do the next day and is pissed that I'm anxious and b

Said my husband, about a rusty, torn umbrella that has been collecting dust in the breeze way for about three years.

We. Have. Four. Other. Umbrellas.

We have stacks and stacks of shit he is going to fix, one day, when he has time. Not to mention cardboard boxes filled with jars, bottles, and containers for "storage." Which he's going to sort and label and fill. One day. When he has time.