[4432] Laser's Saviours.
Hey, I finished making this short story and've been fleshing it out since June. The whole story might be too long for here (lookin like ~30k), so I'm just dropping the first 4 chapters for now for critiquing. It has a prologue, uh-oh, but I know I need it, just don't know how to make it pop as best as I can. I'm looking for critiques from top to bottom - title to last page. Thank you for your help.
Story: A man lives in the sci-fi genre where all the science-y action and fantastical deaths happen. So he tries avoiding that crazy stuff because all he wants is to try some chicken.
*NOTE* I conceptualize this story as one I will draw, so critiquing 'he/she says' lvl stuff wouldn't really help. I want to know if it's interesting enough/how to make it more captivating. Guidance for pace, tone, plot thoughts, etc, you know the rest. How do I keep you from putting it down? (bc I know it's sort of silly lol.)
My story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SmY7llwwGbsxY7onAhHgu-f9DLh4lq3SZCIYe115wi4/edit
~My critiques~
Draugma Skeu [1983]
Dreams' Graveyard [4200]
Burls and Burl Beasts [2994] *fave*
Reclamation [2037]
Harvest Blessing [3836]
Smile... [2429]
Spy of the Mind [2690]
= 20169 I enjoy reading and critiquing.
Posted Aug 29, 2023, 5:10 PM UTC