Today And Today And Today

#Today And Today And Today

 Today, I bury my face  

 In your broad chest, and laugh

 Until I cry. Because  

 When I open my eyes  

 You're still here, and you  

 Brush a wayward curl  

 Away from my face.  

 But before that,   

   

 Tonight, I give myself to you  

 And blue beyond blue   

 Scintillates behind green irises.

 I mouth invented mantras  

 Of godless divinity.   

 But before that,   

   

 I flick a light on, revealing  

 An empty bedroom at 2AM and  

 No one grumbles or  

 Moans in halfwords to   

 Turn it off again. So I   

 Leave it on until the sun comes up.  

 But before that,   

   

 I kill myself today.   

 Load the bullets in the gun,  

 Place the barrel between trembling lips -  

 Death tastes like violet and copper.    

 I pull the trigger   

 Three times; snick, snick, snick.  

 But before that,   

   

 I walk myself to school today  

 Find a barrette in the muddy   

 Roadside, shaped like a dragonfly.    

 I take her home and wash her   

 Because she is everything   

 I can't be:  

 Beautiful and strong and alive.  

   

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