Chuck Norris pet (Long, but amazingly true story)
Posted Jun 21, 2011, 9:08 AM UTC
1.1K371
yay, he maded it, upvote for strong fish
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Yay! Upvote for everyone!!!
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No you.
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Calm down, Chris.
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Quack
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[](/megusta" I want that lipstick on my cock")
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He went on to live a long fish life, dying approximately nine days later from old age.
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How the fuck did he escape from his bowl? We got a jumper?
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Lots of fish jump out of their tanks. Pretty common actually
I used to work at a pet store and if we forgot to close the lids we would come in with dead/dying fish on the floor.
Heres a cool story bro: one Friday we closed down, and on Monday I came in to find a plecostemous fish on the ground, all dried out, apparently dead. I threw him back in the tank and he was fine.
True story.
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plecostemous?
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Sucky glass fishy monster thing
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Vagina?
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Sucker fish. Eats algae!
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Those things are so cool, in my opinion. When I had a bunch of fish, I had one of the larger sucker fish (the lazy one), and like six of the smaller ones that look kind of like brown worms and swim around the glass a lot. They were just fun to watch. :D
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edit: imgur link! http://i.imgur.com/n0fWJ.jpg
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I had the same type of the scavenger fish that grew up to the size of my palm. apparently they become less effective at cleaning surfaces when they grow up.
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They're related to catfish. Usually darker coloured, have speckled skin, their mouths are kinda folded weirdly (hence the name) so they look like they have suckers.
Tough sons of bitches.
Edit: These guys.
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They're invincible. We had one about 6-8 inches long for years. One day the tank heater broke and overheated the tank. Every fish was floating with a hole in its side except for one; plucky the plecostamus. Tough old s.o.b.
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Back when I had a large tank I had two of those. Still there after all my other fish died. Actually I think the fucker was eating the other fish.
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*plecostomus
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We had one as long as my forearm in this great big tank. I mean seriously a foot long... He was grand. Well, one night I woke up to go for a pee and squish.... Stepped on him all dry and gross.
He didn't make it.
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that sucks :(
At my pet store, we had a 4000 liter tank with a guy that was around 3 feet long. Bigger than this guy.
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Did that kid manage to catch a Plec on a rod and reel, or did he just choose to take a snap with his favourite pet in a scenic location? I only ask because fishing for them would be quite an awesome experience.
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Wow. We didn't have a huge tank... We actually had to buy a new one because he almost couldn't move. He just kept growing.
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dry ones go squish?
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Guts... They still have guts.
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That's what she said
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Must be like that scene in Spongebob movie where Spongebob and Patrick are all dried out... I've already said too much.
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Fucking fish. How do they work?
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generally the female lays the eggs, and then the male coats them with sperm
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This reminds me of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mangrove_rivulus
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Exact thing happened to me. Except instead of a pet store it was my basement. Nevertheless, those things are badass.
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plecostomus
FTFY
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I know, how is everyone just glancing over this? I think this is the real feat of strength here.
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it happens all the time
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What? Really?
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Aggressive fish like bettas do this all the time, especially in a small tank or bowl.
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Bettas are natural jumpers. In the wild they jump from one shallow pool of water to another.
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Man overboard!
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My uncle kept a fishbowl in the kitchen next to his stove. One day when he was cooking it jumped out onto a frying pan and died.
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Out of the... fish bowl... into the... pan?
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And then out of the frying pan and into my dinner.
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My old fish killed himself in the same way.
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When I was living in Japan, I got a bunch of goldfish from a man running a goldfish scooping game at the end of a festival. We got a cheap tank and filter to keep them in our apartment.
Little bastards loved to swim against the current the filter made and then flip out of the water, usually onto the floor. We had to put some plastic wrap over the top so they didn't all kill themselves while we were out.
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Only in Japan can they have a National Championship of Goldfish Scooping.
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I love this game! i'm really bad at it though.
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I have absolutely no recollection about whether I was any good at it.
I need to go back to Japan after I finish my bachelor's degree.
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I was moving once and decided to give my 4 tinfoil barbs back to the fish store. They were really hardy and 2ish years old. Anyways, I put them in a really deep bucket (probably over 1 foot distance between water level and top of the bucket). While driving my stick-shift car through rush-hour traffic to the fish store, I heard a flapping noise. One of those motherfuckers had jumped out!!! I quickly scooped him back up between gear shifts, but he managed to do it another two times before I got to the fish store. Crazy kamikaze fish!
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Generally it means the water is toxic for them. My mom has a pond and couldn't figure out why the fish kept jumping. She checked the PH levels and they were insanely high. She cleaned it, and they stopped.
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All of my fish eventually ended up escaping from their aquarium when I was little. My parents told me that aliens abducted them. I totally bought it.
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We had a fish when I was younger that could live out of water for hours like that too. It was just a characteristic of the species apparently. It was also aggressive as fuck. It killed these two mini crabs we put in there.
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ಠ_ಠ
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ಠ_ಠ
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ಠ_ರೃ
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.>(O_o)< IMMA CRAB
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siamese fighting fish have a labyrinth organ which enables them to breath outside of oxygenated water. cant remember offhand but i think they actually need access to air (?)
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Yeah i drowned one once keeping it segmented off from the surface, it was with intentions of keeping it away from other fish that wanted to eat it. Aquaria is a brutal hobby. Like 100 puppies that dont make it past a couple years
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Scumbag Fish gives birth to 98 fries. Eats 95 of them.
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Scumbag Fish doesn't eat hamburgers, he only eats fries.
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I once had an apparently sick balloon molly. I got her out into a separate tank, and she gave birth within a couple of hours to 40 gorgeous gold and black mottled fry. I moved her into a separate tank and managed to get all 40 fry to adulthood. It was the only time I managed that. Usually they gave birth in the main tank, and the betta got most of them.
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Like 100 puppies that dont make it past a couple years
...new respect for fishpeople.
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Aye, ours usually goes to the top to breathe
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Fucking evolution bitches!
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I had this species of fish myself, just one single bastard and it harassed pretty much everyone else in the aquarium, it even attacked its own reflection from time to time.
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You never put betta fish with other fish unless it's to breed
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As long as it's not with long fined, colorful fish it should be fine. I had mine in with cherry barbs for years (it disappeared one day. I assume it died and the fish ate it).
My problem with putting them in tanks is if there is too much water current.
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I've always put betta fish with my community fish and I have never, ever had issues with them. Sometimes they can be aggressive, but not more than the larger, more dominant fish.
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I've always put betta fish with my community fish and I have never, ever had issues with them. Sometimes they can be aggressive, but not more than the larger, more dominant fish.
Why does this sound so much like what pitbull owners say?
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You must have used a female betta. Even they can be aggressive, but there is no way in hell you placed a male betta in a tank with other fish and they coexisted peacefully. They have been known to attack their own image in a mirror until they die.
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There are fish you can put with beta.
Quite a few actually.
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I learned that the hard way.
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I've kept them with all kinds of tetras, mollies, algae eaters etc. They're fine as long as the other fish are small finned.
There was one amusing occasion though. I put in six lemon tetra, and they proceeded to take control of the tank like little marines. They seemed to go section by section, scaring off the other fish and establishing dominance. Then they reached the corner my betta, Eric, had claimed. Ten seconds later they were cowering at the furthest point away from Eric they could get. It was pretty funny to watch.
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NICE, don't fuck with Eric
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Like a baus.
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AGH CRAB BATTLE
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Bettas are INCREDIBLY hardy fish. They live in tiny little puddles in ride paddies and when the water level gets too low, they jump out and look for a new one.
I had one when we had a freak cold snap in Oregon and the water in his bowl froze over. He lived. Also my cat once batted him out of his bowl and around the goddamn room... he lived through that, too, just with a messed-up tail. Heh.
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We had one in our classroom back in 4th grade. The thing dropped dead after a week.
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Proof that class pets die no matter what, it's not just in sitcoms. Also that kids are horrible caretakers.
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well because kids want to treat animals like people
and people like they want themselves
they have well intentioned but terrible tendencies...like putting candy in the fish tank because the fish might want candy
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fish might want candy
My young cousin imagined my uncle's fish to have more mature tastes and treated them to a cup of coffee. There were no survivors.
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Truth! My daughter shared her hotdog with the fish, the goldfish loved it.
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We had fish that survived every murderous attempt on their lives by us. I'm still disappointed that we were foiled in our attempt to charge the tank with electricity. And from what I hear, our exploits became legend, thanks to a good-humoured teacher.
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Actually, the teacher was the only one who actually "took care of it".
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In wrestling camp, in high school, some of the guys got betas and fought them. The winner got swallowed whole as a dare. Then, he threw the fish up a while later. The thing was still alive and lived as our team mascot the rest of the year.
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Hey thanks for the nightmares, guy
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About how long after he swallowed the fish before he threw up?
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It's been 10 years, so I'm not sure. Maybe 15-20 minutes? Long enough to clean up and start playing cards
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When I was really, really young we had one and it got ich. really badly over a weekend. It's side was eaten away and part of it's face...
Mom said "Let's wait for it to die. Then we can flush him"
She didn't even treat the water because we figured he'd die soon... He lived another year and a half. Worst case of ich I've ever seen.
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Some guy at a pet store once told me they're so hardy that they're shipped from overseas between sheets of wet newspaper. I don't know if its true or not but there ya go..
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OP's fish probably survived due to the sheer fact that they have the ability to breathe air without being in water for a short period of time.
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I don't think the tiny puddle thing is true...
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Both links confirm that they live in rice paddies and canals. So no, normally they live in decent-sized, albeit low-oxygen bodies of water.
However, they can survive in puddles when the water level shrinks too much in drier seasons. Obviously that's not the optimal condition for them, but they are capable of surviving it.
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Yuh-huh.
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But saying they can survive in it is different then saying they will live there. Where you live should be where you strive the most, no?
There is no way that is right. Large puddles maybe, but tiny?
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Mmmk. Don't look it up or anything.
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Clarification: The fact that you'd posted links didn't show up in my inbox. Anyhow, okay, semantics. They CAN live in tiny little puddles, blahblahblah. I'm far too apathetic to continue this debate.
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I'd get that leg checked out if I were you. I'm pretty sure it's not meant to sit like that
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My girlfriend has been pretty good at keeping feeder fish alive as pets. The last one lasted a year and a half. Part of it is that she gets them at Walmart. By the time you encounter a fish at Walmart, I think it has endured an evolutionary gauntlet. Those fish are ridiculously hardy. Maurice was one of my favorites.
After about 10 months, he lost his tail. Some fish would just float and flounder around at that point, but Maurice just spread his remaining fins out like a BAMF and kept on keeping on. He grew his tail back while he was still training his other fins (swimming laps forwards and backwards).
Then, his anus stopped working. He just stopped pooping. We tried feeding him various types of fiber, but he wouldn't eat them.
When Maurice gave up on his normal anus, he found a new one. He made a hole in his side, and pooped out of that. For two months. He seemed quite happy. However, his mighty, Walmart-based regenerative powers were so strong that he sealed himself up again, and he only lasted another couple weeks after that.
TLDR: Maurice was a Badass even after his bad ass stopped working.
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...That's some MacGuyver shitting right there.
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Laughing so hard at this that my mouth won't close. Off to question my normality.
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This was the most random thing I've read in a while. I can't stop laughing.
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I'm glad he survived
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Yeah, he actually lived another year or so. Unfortunately, being out of the water so long had apparently blinded him to a certain degree. I was just astounded that he didn't die.
It's also a good thing I've always been such a light stepper. I react very quickly when I step on something sharp or strange-feeling, and I pull my foot back right away. The lack of water might not have been enough to kill him, but my foot probably would have done the job.
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Lol, still funny. I didn't even have a name for him, and I had him for like 3 years.
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Your fish managed to survived for 3 years? That's amazing. The longest i had was a year and a half.
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Finish your joke! What do you call a fish with no eyes?
If your answer is "FSH", I'm going to kill you! ;)
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I think he's blind because you crushed his face.
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Nah, I barely even touched him. Like I said, any time I step on something, I reflexively pull back really quickly. He went blind because of the lack of moisture on his eyes.
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OP's in huge denial.
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It's not dead! it's sleeping!
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It's just chillin' with its belly up! I do that all the time!
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Probably pining for the Fjords!!
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He lived another couple years, bud.
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Maybe, it forgot it was dead.
You know how fish brains are...
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It wasn't that long - most of the panels didn't have dialogue, or had very few words. Quick read. (And upvote for awesome fishy!)
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I had a plecostomus that I thought had died within the first week of having my tank. Fast forward 2 or so years, my tank has been going the whole time, a power outage while I am out of town leads to a tank crash. I decided to clean out the tank and start anew. I throw the hollow faux rock from in my tub for 3 days to drain. I go to clean it and realize there is a fucking gigantic plecostomus inside of the rock. He had gotten himself in there at a young age and grown too large to get out of it on his own. After some finagling, I freed what I thought was his corpse from the rock only to have him start flopping around. I hastily set up a small tank, and that mofo lived another 2 years.
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You thought it died, but had no corpse?
What did you think, that it just ascended to fish heaven?
Maybe that's the source of all the Jesus hubbub....the disciples never thought to check further down into the cave, and Jesus got too fat to fit back out, so they just figured he rose up to heaven or some shit.
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I had a large and aggressive Jack Dempsey in that tank when the plecostomus was young and had disappeared. I has assumed he was devoured like my mating pair of electric yellow labs that were also in that tank.
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I've had several fish vanish when dead. Turns out that water dissolves organic tissue. Who knew.
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Wow, lol. Did he have other fish cronies bringing him food, or what?
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Well plecos are algae eaters, so near as I could tell he'd just been sucking on the inside walls of that faux rock the whole time. I had snails in there so I let the algae pretty much go wild, so as there'd be enough to go around. I'd imagine the inside of the rock was probably all algae'd out as a result.
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He was quite the survivor, then. :D
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That title ಠ_ಠ
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What he's trying to say is that his fish sucks dick for cab fare, then walks home.
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Yea Chuck hasn't been cool since he made that off comment about Mother Mary and abortions.
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Don't you see?!! It took care of the leaf just before you woke up so you didn't have to worry!!
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Some fish have a set of primative lungs called the Labyrinth organ that allow them to breathe air.
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yeah. not impressed.
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It's still impressive, all night + being stepped on? Mine couldn't do that.
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i guess you are right
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fishy!
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I thought we all agreed he’s a dick.
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Do they have an organ that helps them survive being stepped on, too?
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I've mentioned this before, but I am a very light stepper and I have good reflexes. I pulled my foot back as soon as I felt him on the bottom of my foot.
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I know this is a bit late but I'll tell you about a sea snail my sister had. At first we named him Gary (after Spongebob Squarepant's pet snail) but we quickly realized that he had the ability to cheat death. So we named him Lazarus (after the biblical figure whom Jesus brought back to life, yeah yeah, christianity blah blah blah).
Now Lazarus was a funny motherfucker, sometimes Lazarus would just decide to float. He would just rise from the bottom of the tank and float along, just for fun. Now this is generally a sign of death but Lazarus would float down to the bottom and act like nothing happened if we got the net to scoop out his undead corpse.
He did this at least once a week for months. Each time he did it the interval increased. At one point he did it for nearly 24 hours. We were sure he was dead, but he just got bored of floating and settled back down, the little troll that he was. He finally passed after living six months past the life expectancy of his species, and you can be sure that he was floating there for a day or two before we determined he was truly dead. We flushed him down the toilet.
Now what I think happened was similar to what Nemo did in finding Nemo. He played dead and was flushed down the toilet, I'm almost positive Lazarus was the smartest snail ever. He's probably chilling in the ocean right now. Lucky bastard.
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My mother once had a pacu that jumped out of it's tank. She was gone at work unfortunately and found the fish half-dried on her kitchen floor. She had gotten a spatula and literally scrapped the thing off of the ground, peeling of the scales and promptly plopped it back into the tank.
The next day when she woke up to go to work, the thing was alive and swimming! Although half of it's body was de-scaled, it lived for quite awhile.
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I had a pair of pacu I raised from 4" to 18" long, great fish but damn they get big fast. I ended up giving them away since I couldn't afford a larger tank for them.
They really were great fish though and once my oscar escaped overnight and was chewed on by the cat, luckily he was found dazed but not dead. The pacu literally held him upright until he recovered a day or so later.
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betas are known jumpers, plus, they have a labyrinth lung, so all they need is to stay wet to live.
Yeah they live in rice paddies is southeast Asia where the water is warm, stagnant, and low on oxygen. They can gulp air to absorb some oxygen in the labyrinth.
That....is fucking cool. What a badass fish.
That really is cool. Learned something new & I think I may actually get a fish now.
They make a great addition to a tank so long as their tank-mates aren't prone to nipping at fins. A 5 gallon aquarium that will keep a beta happy and healthy can be had for around $30.
Just be careful, they aren't called Fighting Fish for no reason.
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It's just a theory! /s
this doesn't prove evolution at all. i mean, seriously, how could a fish have lungs!? clearly, God is responsible for giving a fish lungs. He's the only one that could do that. You think it was just like, gills gills gills gills gills gills gills gills lungs! No way. God is the only logical and rational explanation here. like this could ever just happen on accident. i'll pray for you.
How could a fish have lungs? I present the muskipper. Evolution does no happen on accident that would be natural selection.
This makes me feel really bad mine died when all I did was change out its water :(
You have to condition the new water before you put them in it or the pH shock will kill them.
Yes. Something I learned at the cost of my betta :(
Apparently, a fish that can be stepped on, left out of water for hours, and even buried then dug up later cannot survive
new waterme.I still haven't replaced him. I'm terrified I'll strike again!
Well TIL.....
When my little sister was 5 or 6 she had one herself that had jumped out onto the carpet, she was distraught by the whole thing. We had to give the fish a proper burial of course, so she wrapped the guy in foil and we buried him in the ground. This is during an Arizona summer, so it's 115 degrees or so.
For whatever reason 15 minutes later she decides that she misses him so she goes back to exhume this lifeless fish only to find it sort of moving around, she popped him in the bowl. He lived for a couple years after that.
Holy shit. Could there really be a fish on this earth that I can't kill in a month?
You are now aware that goldfish have a lifespan of around 30 years. You now feel terrible.
Yea it's almost impossible to kill them, they can survive in sewer water too.
Mine couldn't survive having one of those 5 day feed food tablets put in it's 1 gallon tank when I went on vacation. I miss my fish.
I have great news. You can buy another one for like 5 bucks and never know the difference.
But... life is priceless ;__;
Five bucks??? These things are a dollar each at my local PetCo.
My grandma once dropped a couple ice cubes in the bowl I kept mine in. Sadly he didn't survive that one...
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Precisely.
I'm sure it's not very good at boxing.
Funnily enough, they are also known as Siamese Fighting Fish. Put two males in the same tank, two fish enter, one fish leaves. In parts of Asia they're bred to fight and people bet on them.
Yup my sister went to camp for a month and we all forgot to feed it. She returned to find it in the same condition she left it.
Weird that there are no pictures of the structure. There's a wiki page for fish that have it, but not the structure itself. You basically know more than the internet. I tip my hat in your direction.
Sounds like a pretty alpha fish, if you ask me.
And yet it is called a betta.
Lawl.
But... He stepped on him
I actually barely touched him with my foot. I have good reflexes, so any time I step on something strange or sharp, I pull back immediately. So, I didn't crush the little guy.
My friends had a betta that jumped and ended up on some Thomas the Train tracks, which are dry as hell.
...and then it died.
Yeah, we didn't know it was a jumping fish, considering how slowly they usually swim around. We definitely kept the cover on top of the tank after this happened. :P
That still doesn't explain it's boss mode ability to be stepped on by a small human... And live. That is fucked!
I wish I had known this when I was 12 and my beta committed suicide. I just threw him out when I found him. :<
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It's the third highest root post on this comments page. Besides, you seemed to have commented very shortly after he did, which means it's unlikely to have been seen by very many people by the time you posted your astute observation.
Besides, there's another comment further up on the page that gives similar details.
One time I ate a beta in one gulp for a fraternity initiation... 24 hours when I shit it out, it started swimming around
I smell shit.... bullshit that is....
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