[2013] The Leech - Ch. 3 Pt. 1
Lol it just keeps coming. Sorry. This is half-ish of the third chapter. Whole thing's 4400, that's a lot, so I just cut it at a good stopping point.
Again, obviously, I expect that some of this might be confusing to people who haven't read previous chapters. So here, I'm foremost looking for feedback on prose/voice and >!the flow of the argument, if the characters' motivations and stances come across clear or muddied. It's all kind of a jumble in my head at this point.!<
Another reason I'm posting: Tulika is Black (not physically described here but described indirectly in Ch. 2), and I don't want to get my BIPOC characters wrong, so if you see anything problematic about her characterization/role so far, I'd love to know that as well.
Basic terms previously established:
art - magical abilities; everyone has one; Ryland's art is that she can drink other people's blood to use theirs
Fast Hand - a gang of people you don't want to fuck with
hand - a member of the Fast Hand
sharp - a person who steals blood for Ryland
the Swing - a river bisecting the city into north and south
Previous chapters:
Crits:
Posted Jun 30, 2022, 2:05 AM UTC · edited