BugsyOP

I’m a mess

Anxiety induced pretension

Romanticized suicide was never my intention

My words are like a broken record

So listen to them as you sleep

False narratives of a misplaced love

It’s my fault your heart bleeds darling

Let me transfuse

Sometimes I consider this a truthful scripture

The insomnia scrawling of a drowning writer

Like etches of a mad man’s cell

But sometimes I think I put myself through hell

Leave me lonely, I’m better this way

I can’t hurt you, you’re already broken

There is nothing left to say

If we stay together we will destroy each other

I’m focused on my future while still in the past

Sometimes I wanna die, others I wanna run

In the grass we lay,

Dear, you,

I've romanticized you in my head since I was a child.

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I've seen you in the eyes of every girl I've loved.

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You look like the moon personified.

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I grow merely for you to dance like a wildfire in the forest we built.

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I'll show you my body and my art and you'll make the worms symmetrical.

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We'll build a past on the back of the future we create.

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I'll start to believe my existence is only beautiful when I'm in your eyes.

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But you're no real yet.

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[Link 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/odk1dx/mom_and_dad/h43levl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&co

I left today,

I left yesterday,

It’s as if I leave everyday.

There's a cruel juxtaposed metaphor in all of it,

I spent so much of my life worrying,

That you would unwillingly do something I did by choice.

The guilt I hold for flying away brought me back down to the ground.

The moon looks the same but the glow doesn't feel familiar anymore.

You send me smoke signals but it's windy out today.

I'm sorry.

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1 2

[Poetry Blog

Let's Pretend not to be grown just so I can do it again with you

Lay in my bed with me and lets numb ourselves

Whatever that means to us

Let's be apprehensive because of our past, but ignore it

Who ever cared anyway.

Tell me exactly what I want to hear, for I am a user

Hold me so tight that I can’t grow

Until I run through your fingers like water through sand

I just want someone to make me complacent.

Guide me to the cave and let me wallow.

1 [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/m40srz/herself/gqtpxn1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&am

I’m not sure I believe in soulmates or twin flames.

But you best believe I will flirt with the idea to my grave.

I will pretend every girl I dance with in the rain is the one the stars aligned me to be with.

I will look for flaws to debunk the possibility that you could be the one I am meant to be with.

I will allow moments to feel like eternity before I reset.

Maybe I don’t believe in soul mates, but I think I believe in soul moments.

So I thank you for this moment, forever.

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1 [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/m2saqc/a_w

I haven't thought about suicide in a while.

Of course, every now and again, I find it.

That deep thought, nuzzled in the back of my brain.

The thought that snuck in as a child and festered like Chinese food in the fridge that you meant to throw out but you kept forgetting and pushing back.

Maybe, I'm wrong, maybe it was always meant to be like this, just inevitable.

Maybe I was given this derelict shell as a birthright. A hereditary suicide pact pushed off to the side replaced by negligence and misguided disdain.

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[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/m1ofyf/the_knight_that_she_left/gqhrhxr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www

My skin doesn't cover my bones very well.

I know it makes you feel sick and sad,

To see me like this.

And I know it makes your head hurt to think,

To think about how I treat myself.

Almost enough for you to hate me,

TO want to pull the skin off to find my brain.

I'm sorry that my skin doesn't cover my bones very well.

I tried to keep you safe.

I want to be everything to you that my skin can't be to my bones.

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[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/m1owml/strangers_again/gqhef5u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/m1owml/strangers_again/gqhef5u?utm_source=share&utm