Today and Today and Today (revised)

#Today and Today and Today

 Today, I bury my face  
         in your broad chest, and laugh
         until I cry. Because when I lift
         my eyes you're still here to
         brush a wayward curl
         from my face.   
  ...but before that,   
 
 Today, I give me
         to you and the blue beyond
         blue scintillates behind
         emerald irises, as I
         mouth invented mantras  
         of godless divinity.   
  ...but before that,   
 
 Today, I look in
         the mirror, and find I
         don't need to look away; the
         grotesquery that was is
         gone and there is only me,
         and she am here.
  ...but before that,
 
 Today, I flick on
         a lamp, revealing a desolate
         two o’clock bedroom, and
         no-one grumbles or moans
         in halfwords to turnnit offigen, so
         it stays until the sun comes up.  
  ...but before that,   
 
 Today, I buy her
         a shirt.  It's not brown or navy
         blue, or black, and it fails to
         button the proper way.
         It is the best and finest
         shirt she have ever owned.
  ...but before that,
 
 Today, I kill myself  
         with bullets skiffed in chambers  
         by shaking turncoat fingers–
         death tastes like violet and copper.    
         trigger pulled three times;
         snick, snick, snick.  
  ...but before that,   
 
 Today, I fall
         in love and also
         out of a tree. I had
         climbed it to see over
         the houses, but instead
         saw a more distant truth.
  ...but before that,
 
 Today, I walk  
         to school all by myself, a
         dragonfly barrette unearthed by
         chance in the muddy roadside.
         I take her home and wash her, cause
         she is everything I can't be.
  ...beautiful and strong and alive.  

##the best of aniLana:

• The Mountain

• Foldable Humans

• Aftermath

• This is How I Brush My Hair

• How To Hold A Woman

• The Day I Caught The Sun

• Excerpts From a Voicemail

• Last Light

• Take Apart The Corners of My Love

• I Keep My Names

• The Unpsalm Trilogy:

• • Unpsalm 1:1-19
• • Unpsalm 2:1-15
• • Unpsalm 3:1-35

• I Have a Strange Engine

• Kiss Me Like This

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