Zero Punctuation /('o')\ S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Oct 15, 2008, 4:03 PM UTC
31082
escapistmagazine.com
in the world of zp this is a fairly postitive review
50
And he's spot on as usual. That game is one awesome, bug ridden, immersive, unforgiving bastard.
19
I actually didn't like it. I found no real reason to do optional missions, with the exception of trying to join the bandits, which after two missions they gave me a "don't call us, we'll call you" statement while they 'did a background check' on me before letting me join. They never got back to me on the issue. Also, near this game possibly has an intolerably long 'final mission' during which there is no opportunity to repair weapons/armour, which led to nothing but frustration. All in all the game was way too short anyways, and a few UI issues didn't help.
1
You need to do some optional missions for the cash, otherwise you'll never afford decent armor.
5
If you go along with the pain in the ass artifact hunt system, money comes real quick.
But Endymion is right, the game turns extremely linear all of the sudden and tries to be Call of Duty-ish but with the need to scavenge for ammo, repair your gear and little way to do it.
1
Agreed, in fact I believe this review is so well made, it's even better than the game!
1
Was I the only one who thought something went wrong with the buffering near the end?
I was like 'aww damn, and it was going so smoothly... wait hang on, the slider is still going'
32
It brought me memories of the RealPlayer da... BUFFERING...
24
Thank the Interweb gods those days are mostly o... BUFFERING...
-1
Yes.
21
I love the error messages...
"Angry policemen are en route and resistance will only make them angrier."
"If problems persist, sing gentle lullabies and lovingly stroke its hair."
14
I didn't even catch this! Thanks!
EDIT: I'm not being sarcastic, I'm genuinely thankful. I watched it whilst all distracted at work. I know, I know. *watches again *
2
I thought my pc had frozen the first time it happened in the video.
They accurately captured what I hear when my pc locks up for a while or forever. The soundcard basically repeatedly plays whatever audio it had buffered at that moment. Very different from buffering or other video playback issues.
8
Yeah, did the skipping very wellwellwellwellwell
0
And whistled for a baboon.
6
[deleted]
1
He should have whistled for a cab....
1
Having played the first S.T.A.L.K.E.R., I knew exactly what was going on...
3
Umm, let me guess... you're on a PC? (oh shit here come the down mods)
0
...because if I was using a Mac my internet would magically run faster...
3
No, just that when something like that happens, you expect your computer to be the source of the problem instead of a creative bit of sarcasm. I know I didn't assume my connection/computer was the problem.
0
[deleted]
0
there's nothing quite like an englishman saying 'baboon.'
23
Too bad he's an Aussie.
-11
He's English living in Autralia.
10
Derived from the same bloody stock though, eh mate?
7
Yanno. Sometimes I think Americans would talk like Englishmen if it weren't for the revolution.
Its like America tried its best to be unlike the Brits: drink coffee not tea, change the accent, etc.
1
Putting an englishman in Australia does not make him into an Australian, it makes him into a pom. A sunburnt whining pom.
6
Expat Brit :)
1
I hope he reviews World of Goo next...
15
Sorry, the next game he's going to review is Silent Hill Homecoming.
10
I am SO importing Silent Hill Homecoming too.
I shall play it alone, in the dark, with the surround sound turned at mid-to-max, the 52 inch LCD TV upscaling the visceral horror in true high def...
If the neighbors don't call the police about the strange noises or girly**-man**, ear-piercing screams emanating from my house, then I'm not playing it right.
EDIT: Even men squeal and scream like little girls when given the proper stimuli.
4
Actually, I think that would mean you're clear to enter the exciting field of serial rape
EDIT: ...of men.
EDIT 2: Never mind. Sounds like you're already a seasoned industry pro.
2
AHA MICHAEL!
1
[deleted]
1
the irony, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. probably has more punctuation in it than any other game!
13
I can never tell if he likes the game, in a Yahtzee way.
5
[deleted]
1
Dammit, I love S.T.A.L.K.E.R., but this was spot on. The difficulty isn't too bad once you've gotten used to it, but the rest were fairly valid points. I just wish he'd mentioned how the game sucks you in a bit more.
4
[deleted]
1
I was tearing up I was laughing so hard
1
hmm....my karmas at 94....QUICKSAVE. Immedialtley gets downvoted
0
the best part the best part the best part the best part the best part the best part the best part the best part the best part BLONK
-7
I actually thought my computer crashed. I was watching in full screen.
0
[deleted]
-10
When you start paying attention to good and/or important games, and start using question marks correctly.
EDIT: Because he's decided to be an idiot and delete his comment, he said something to the effect of "when is he going to review a game we've heard of." and then replied to me with "what? S.T.A.L.K.E.R.? Important?" or something. So at least he got the question marks part.
21
[deleted]
-4
imbecile!
3
Don't you mean F---ING imbecile, Mr. Tulip?
6
He reviews games for gamers who don't live under a rock.
2
[deleted]
-21
No, this one's called "reddit".
12
Digg...?
THIS!
IS!
JDFONG'S TIRED IDEA OF A RUNNING GAG!
*punt*
-1
It's zero punctuation, but there's punctuation in the title. hahaha, im so original.
I love that you've started getting upvotes for these.
Forced Meme
Does everything have to be a meme?
You do realize that, for example, the English language is a meme, right?
My God! Even I've turned into a meme!
Does everything have to be a meme?
Deserved upvotes for a solid running joke...letterman lives off repeating stuff til it's funny. Why can't JdFong? Leave JDFONG ALONE!!
Dude I am totally serious. jdfong lives his own dream every Wednesday. Now how many of us can say that?
Come on home son. It's supper time.
I got some punctuation for ya...
,|,, (>.<) ,,|,
If my memory serves me right, there was actually one title with that punctuation.
!?.'"&%$#@
I long for the day that every letter is a link.
By my count, that'll be July 1st, 2009. Assuming he doesn't take any holidays off or anything.
I long for July 7th than... What will he do?
I dunno, anxiously await the next Zero Punctuation on July 8th?
There's also some kinda horrified stick person in the title, if only titles had the same freedoms we have, damn dirty commies.
If Awesome and Fantastic had sex that resulted in a boy who later in life had sex with the female offspring of Breathtaking and Stupendous and their coitus produced a child who later won the Nobel Prize for Excellent Posts, your post would be better than anything that child ever wrote.
Long live Mr. Fong!
(I've totally flip-flopped on this topic.)
[deleted]