Zero Punctuation: Fallout 3
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Nov 19, 2008, 5:01 PM UTC
582211
escapistmagazine.com
136
I hated you. But now you've grown on me... like an adorable hardworking genocidal fungus...
Upvote.
36
No downvote, always downvote. Out of respect.
19
Eh, a douche is a douche.
-7
shut up.
-25
Touch me there.
4
I read that as "adorable genital fungus"... >_<
5
But now you've grown on me... like an adorable hardworking genocidal fungus...
In all fairness, only jdfong's mycelium, or vegetative body, is genocidal. Its sporocarp, or fruiting body, is edible and delicious when sautéed. However, the amateur reddit mushroom hunter must take care not to mistake it for the similar-looking Death Troll Fungus, any one of which can propagate its meme-spores via numerous poisonous sock-puppet-shaped mushrooms.
2
Are you going to turn this into a sub-meme? The hater-turned-fan of a relentless fungal meme?
-12
Yes?
-4
Happy Wednesday everybody!!!
23
[deleted]
2
I reckon he must be aware of it by now. Someone less lazy than me should get a campaign going.
1
[deleted]
2
What are you going to do when you run out of letters?
2
Realizing he has served his purpose in life, he will commit seppuku.
9
You know that moment when you take that first step towards love? The flirtation has finally led to the first kiss and your lips have just begun to touch hers?
Your post is like 30 times better than that.
1
. . . CREEEEEEEEEEPPYYYYY . . .
16
Downvoted because I hate it that I love it.
1
[deleted]
1
good lord, how long did it take you to type out that post?
0
I'm pretty sure he copy-pastes them from his previous posts.
13
He didn't start linking previous posts until the 'r' in "there"...
2
49
[deleted]
25
HACK!
WHACK!
SMACKIN THAT MEAT!
(goes into muted trumpet solo)
12
I sang along with that as I ate residents of Andale...
3
'CUZ PETE DON'T CARE WHO'S MEAT HE CHOPS!
3
As a mighty mighty man who's young and is in my prime, I approve.
6
I shrug every time he goes "It's Threeee Dawwwg Aaaooooo!". But besides that the music is fantastic and sets a very nice mood for slaughtering.
3
2nd time going through the game I murdered 3 Dog in his sleep as soon as he wasn't essential. A "technician" hosts the show after and she bitches about the murderer. She talks much less =D
5
Bingo bango bongo I don't wanna leave the Congo I refuse to goooooo
13
They've got things like the Atom BOMB,
So I think I'll stay where I AM...
10
Civilizationnn, I'll say right HEEEEERE
7
This is ridiculously close to a supblot on the movie The Lady From Shangai.
Must see noir movie, btw.
2
upmod for BEST. SONG. EVER.
3
Jesus Christ! I had to turn of GNR because I could NOT get this song out of my head for days. I would wake up and my immediate thoughts would be "bongo bongo bongo" Jesus fuck!
9
So I'm not the only one? The only music I've had running in my head is from the 40s!
8
and it's stuck back in my head again
thanks
4
Thank you for turning my You Tube all Polish.
It's far more interesting this way.
Witamy w YouTube! Sugerowany język (ustawiliśmy w ten sposób Twoje preferencje): Polski Aby zmienić preferencje językowe, użyj linków znajdujących się u góry strony obok logo YouTube. Kliknij przycisk „OK”, aby zaakceptować to ustawienie, lub przycisk „Anuluj”, aby wyświetlić witrynę w języku angielskim.
1
Yeah, it's pretty good.
36
Game nerd fact!! X-Com Apocalypse combined realtime and turn based gameplay that you could switch between.
31
phhht, Chrono Trigger could switch between active and wait.
12
Chrono Trigger was like concentrated Branston Pickle and all of modern gaming is just a result of Lucca coming back in time and attempting to wipe out the Square team so they didn't bring Lavos back as a playable character for Chrono Break.
6
Nerd debate! I'm not sure the active system is the same as realtime. Active still has a clock per character that counts down to a 'turn'...
5
Is that any different from just having a cooldown on using a weapon? You can only fire a gun so fast
2
yeah, I didn't really mean that it was, I was just joking.
1
Neat but Fallout 3 doesn't have a turn based component. It's more like the "pause to setup and select actions" in Mass Effect.
10
So then it's like the Infinity Engine?
1
I came here to write that. You win.
5
[deleted]
5
Yes, the last level was in the face on Mars and it was fun as hell.
3
No.
The last mission of X-Com: UFO Defense was on Mars, but that was the first game in the series. The last mission of Apocalypse was in the alien dimension.
Man, I'm gettin to old for this shit.
7
I found that game frustratingly impossible. As soon as I got anywhere decent with my research fuckloads of aliens came and shot up the city and then everyone hated me.
3
I think we both lose...
2
:(
1
Game nerd fact!! X-Com Apocalypse combined realtime and turn based gameplay* that you could switch between.
* badly
3
shouldn't that star be after switch?
2
I think he means integrated both into one system rather than allowing you to have one or the other.
the Total War series would fit here though.
2
Yahtzee! failed to mention you can just cheat to freeze time and have proper turn based combat. Not talking about VATS. You can freeze, plant a mine on someone and get to cover, if you deem it as a well-balanced turn =D.
2
[deleted]
1
Did any other non-Brits IMMEDIATELY google "branston pickle" after watching the review?
Here's the Wiki link.
I wanna try some now. Sounds pretty good.
Plus, if you don't click that link, you'll never find out what "The Pickle Crisis of 2004" was.
Re-Edit: Used different link.
26
I'm a Brit and it's great. It's nothing like Ketchup it's just a pickle. Goes great with cheese and ham.
Well it's kind of like a chutney then.
EDIT: And I was hit by the Pickle Crisis of 2004. It sucked - meant couldn't buy Branston pickle that week so I bought Picalilli mustard instead.
That was a crazy week :P
19
I think the essential communication problem here is that to us yanks, "pickle" connotates specifically a pickled cucumber.
We don't really have "pickles" as it's being used here. We also don't have chutneys, unless you're all hoity-toity.
12
No chutney? But... but... then what do you put on your poppadoms?
16
Pappa-whats?
No, actually, I know what those are. But the vast majority of Americans would not.
Indian food just never made that much of a penetration here. In some areas, you have to be in a large city just to get a small Indian buffet.
6
Zero Punctuation does have one thing right, and that's the fact that Branston Pickle is the finest condiment of all time.
It is in fact so fine that it is no exaggeration to say that all of England was shaken by the Pickle Crisis of 2004, and that I recall it as a time of great national suffering. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think that any other national crisis has affected my family in such a direct and deep way.
11
It sounds horrible. Then again, he's in australia, so his only other choice was Vegemite.
9
Marmite.
1
Wikipedia says NZ and Aus have a different type of marmite.
2
I bet, if you think really really hard, and bear in mind that marmite is made out of 'beef extract', that you can work out the major difference between vegemite and marmite.
-2
Plus, if you don't click that link, you'll never find out what "The Pickle Crisis of 2004" was.
Well, I wasn't going to click, but...I gotta see this.
*Edit: Branston Pickle -> Ploughman's Lunch -> Cheese -> (lots of cheese related articles) -> Gloucester Cow -> Finching -> Heck Cattle -> Germany -> Charlemagne...once again, Wikipedia manages to stealth-kill 3 hours of my day. :-/
9
The wiki is a spy!
4
WIKIPEDIA'S SAPPIN' MUH SENTRY!
6
Branston Pickle is amazing. I wouldn't eat most of what's in it if you paid me but, somehow, it's a definite case of the whole being far greater than the sum of its parts. It has big chunks of what I know is something I would normally consider disgusting such as turnips and other root vegetables but it makes them taste great.
8
Branston Pickle, my new alter-ego.
5
I prefer it's bad ass big brother: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piccalilli
The English version tends to burn your nads...
Strangely it's the sort of thing that you would expect to find in a post-apocalyptic wasteland...
5
I wonder if reddit could come together to order a case of it, or something, and then at least a dozen of us could try it all at once? I'd be down for that.
3
They sell it at Albertson's(a large chain grocery store) Or you can buy some on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=branston+pickle&x=0&y=0
4
Amazon is advertising used branston pickle... I don't want to know what that means.
2
Albertson's is Lucky's now in the Bay Area, is that what happened everywhere?
1
I was tempted, but out of respect for the healthy animosity between our cultures, I declined.
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[deleted]
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Yeah. I just discovered that Reddit can't handle URLs that end with a closed parenthesis.
Someone should probably fix that.
1
You have to escape the closing parenthesis with a backslash.
9
That's what comes from requiring a retarded markup for hyperlinks.
12
Good call. Will do that in the future.
1
that doesn't work either
0
[deleted]
1
I didn't think he'd review Fallout 3, because if he's honest he'll have to jam forks into his eyes.
Edit: it's a reference to his Portal review. Someone didn't get it.
25
The above poster is complementing the game.
For those who don't get the reference. He said the next time he said a game was good like Portal he'd jam forks into his eyes.
28
Did defproc write an expansion for Fallout 3?
(You meant to say Compliment, not complement, in case you didn't get the joke there)
1
Well, he did have criticism for this one, so I don't think he's obligated just yet. I was surprised that his review was so positive, though.
(It's a fun game, I just expected Yahtzee to be more critical.)
1
unfortunately for your hopes, fallout 3 is nowhere near that good.
-2
Here's an experiment.
-
Make mod that turns FO3 into turn based just like the first two Fallouts but leaves everything else as is.
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Compare this modified FO3 to the first two.
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Realise that FO3 is a terribly mediocre RPG.
1
Portal > Fallout 3. I cared more about every character in Portal than any character in Fallout 3.
Fallout 3 is an excellent example of how to make a good game, but a terrible example of how to tell a good story.
-5
every character in Portal
Both of them?
27
There were three...
21
How could they forget the cube? =(
19
Oh bugger, I forgot Chell.
16
Yes, both of them. Chell was a more developed character than the vault dweller and GLaDOS was a much more developed villain than President Eden, or his sidekick, or any other major NPC character in Fallout 3.
-6
Chell was a more developed character
Look, I love Portal as much as the next guy, but let's not say completely nonsensical things. Chell did not have any personality. Chell is a female Gordan Freeman. You can go ahead and say you cared more about her living than the Vault Dweller, but I think that says more about your psychological separation of the gender roles and the comparatively personal nature of the danger experienced in the narrative than it does about the actual characters. The only "character" in Portal was GLaDOS, and yes she was delightfully quirky and had a lot of story built up around her, but that is really difficult to beat when she has, essentially, the whole game to herself and absolutely has to be a strong character to make it work.
11
You got to admit, though, that the world in FO3 is a character all by itself. It doesn't overshadow the awful ending or poky rpg aspects, but it's sandboxy enough to have a good time just wandering around.
It appears that some of the people working on populating the world were better storytellers than those who wrote the actual story.
3
every character in Portal
What, both of them?
4
well said
1
I was kinda excited to watch him bash the fuck out of a favorite of mine, but it was surprisingly lax
17
I figure he's require to bash every game a little bit (except Portal).
8
Psychonaughts
5
He admits psychonauts is underrated but flawed... I think he basically said, he couldn't find anything wrong at all with Portal.
9
I figure he's require to bash every game a little bit (except Portal).
No, he did not bash Phsychonaughts either.
-1
TURN UP THE DIFFICULTY!
17
I have been playing on hard and it seems about right. Challenging but not frustratingly difficult. Although I sure don't have as much money as he is talking about.
12
Playing on hard as well, from the beginning until now (lvl 5) I find myself constantly on the verge of running out of ammo. I never played the first two games in the series, so I dunno if this is normal. I'm particularly surprised because I'm compulsive about quickloading whenever I spend too many ammo or lose too many health points when avoidable. I do that in any fps, only to realize once the game is over that I didn't really have to be so frugal, by which point I'll be pissed at the game designers for not displaying a big red sign saying "You don't need to conserve your ammo!" which would save me from wasting so much time reloading needlessly.
All of this to say, it's the first game where my frugality is actually worth something.
2
I've been playing on Hard as well, but with a twist;
Every 4 levels, I do a player.setlevel back 1, with the intent of having 25 levels worth of levelling by level 20.
I guess it's a little bit of a cheat, but it's nothing that mods won't replicate anyway. I still have a hard-ass time killing things (particularly mirelurk hunters)
Deathclaws have once again put the fear of death into me (still don't know where dart gun schematics are)
1
I'm about to dive into the Deathclaw Sanctuary with my level 5, I'm thinking about turning the difficulty DOWN. Deathclaws are scary!
6
Head to minefield from that earlier Moira mission, grab a few dozen mines. The close quarter combat once you go underground is insane, and mines help.
6
I did end up turning down the difficulty (and ditching Dogmeat after he died twice, what a stupid fuck that dog is). I snuck in and dropped a Bottlecap Mine, and took a sneak attack with my hunting rifle, and ran away! The Bottlecap Mine finished it off nicely. Only half XP, but I got what I was looking for (don't want to spoil anything).
This is my third character (yes I play too much, but I had to do evil too!) Flamers work wonders, but I don't even have a full tank of flamer fuel yet on this guy.
4
You play too much? I'm on my fifth character...
5
[deleted]
4
I never ran into the Dart gun in-game, I tried to play without looking anything up on the internets, and as a consequence, I missed some of the esoteric weapons n' such.
2
Yeah. I didn't even know there was a difficulty setting until I was almost finished with the game. Just left it on Normal ftw.
2
I tried it on hard but ran out of my stockpile of stim packs in about 2 hours so I just reloaded and stealthboyed through that part on normal and continue to enjoy my headshots from the safety of full health lol.
1
please let NMA folks turn up here, please let NMA folks turn up here, please let NMA folks turn up here
Because I like hilarity
13
NMA?
5
No Mutants Allowed, an especially ... LOUD, I guess you can say, bunch of Fallout purists who piss and bitch and moan in the most hilarious of ways and about the most hilarious of things. They are the Simpsons Comic Book Guy of Fallout fandom, and I love them.
17
Perfect analogy ever.
I saw a post in the NMA forums once of a person trying to rally up optimism for Fallout 3.
A mod came on and said "You're obviously trolling."
Whaaaaaaaa??? I thought it was a Fallout site... But evidently the mods are in on the hate group.
Nevertheless they were the best source of news for the upcoming game; You just had to ignore the frothing at the mouth in the forums and the resentful introductions. Always go straight to link.
7
Solid and accurate review. It is very much like Oblivion but I don't really see anything wrong with that. I do wish NPC's were a bit smarter and I seem to have gotten above the curve at my current difficultly level so Ii may need to turn it up.
I just hope we get some good DLC for it. A Shivering Isles size expansion would be very welcome.
9
My biggest wish is a construction set for it. Then, and only then, will I buy it. It was the modding scene that made Oblivion great for me.
5
what do you need a construction set for? People were modding games long before developers included them ... and Fallout 3 is being modded right now. There are already a good deal of mods out there tweaking the game balance and rules. Weapons, monsters and more are sure to follow.
2
Ah - maybe I should clarify - I want a construction set so that I can make mods :p I haven't the first clue how to without the developers including the tools.
1
Ahhh! Fair enough, that I can understand. I couldn't do a damn thing without those pack-in dev tools, too.
1
"Review"...? Uhm, I love Zero Punctuation, it's good entertainment, but it's not really a review per se in my opinion, it's rather leaning towards the comedy side.
2
I think they said that if they do any DLC it'll be sizeable.
Bethesda still isn’t saying what the content will be. But they at least offered Multiplayer a size estimate. It will be bigger than Bethesda’s infamous horse armor download for “Oblivion,” the studio’s product manager, Pete Hines, laughed. How much bigger? Hines pointed towards the “Knights of the Nine” content for “Oblivion” as a base of comparison for “Fallout 3″ content. It just won’t be as substantial as full-fledged expansion pack, as “Shivering Isles” was, he explained.
1
That's good news. Knights of the Nine was pretty awesome. I'd pay $5 or $10 for a good new four- or six-hour story arc and mission tree.
1
Any spoilers?
5
naw, not really
17
You can't really spoil the ending, since there are like over 9000 ways of ending the game, depending on your behavior throughout.
-3
There are 2 ways to end the game; evil and good. I suppose if you count the pre-ending summary that depends on your karma, there are 6 endings.
good karma - good ending
neutral karma - good ending
bad karma - good ending
good karma - evil ending
neutral karma - evil ending
bad karma - evil ending
5
You're missing a variable, but it doesn't change much, your decision tree for the ending is:
Good/Neutral/Evil
Did-self/Got-someone-else-to
Poisoned/Not-Poisoned
[SPOILER ALERT] In theory, there MAY be a twist, since you could possibly get one character immune to radiation to do the deed, and thus not die in the process. But neither me nor my boyfriend have been able to keep that character alive til the end. [END SPOILER]
4
There is no twist... I had the super-mutant ally at the end. When I asked him to do it, he said "No, this is not for me to do, your destiny awaits you." or something like that. Although I never tried it with the ghoul ally. I am almost done my second run through (first time I did story mission only, now I'm going for 100% completion), so I'll try it again with him.
5
If you are talking about...hmmm..."F" ;) then no it cant be done. Which is really odd.
3
How can you not keep that big, ugly fucker alive? I guess not having armor for him could make it hard, but he's pretty tough regardless.
2
You can't really spoil the ending, since there are like OVER 9000 JPEGs of ending the game, depending on your behavior throughout.
ftfy
-4
Wow, he actually liked it ... that's rare.
5
[deleted]
1
I get the feeling he didn't finish this game, like most games he plays. The game gets steadily worse the more you play it, with one of the worst endings in gaming history as the finale.
4
yes, goodness yes. And while the ending itself is a punctuation mark on the overall poor story, the fact that the game ends at all is a black mark against the game. Bethesda's last two big games (Oblivion and Morrowind) don't end after the main quest is complete. Both of the preceding Fallout games don't end after the main quest is complete. When I wasn't given an option to continue playing was the only time the game elicited any emotional response from me (besides the "FUCK YEAH THERE GOES YOUR HEAD" vats crits).
9
I must have replayed the ending 5 different ways. I just kept saying "that can't be it." Don't get me wrong, the last scene was definitely a clue that something epic was going on, I just never imagined it was the end of the game. I was actually thinking "allright, now the story really gets started."
9
Haven't played Fallout 3, but that's exactly how I felt with Mass Effect. Just a numb, "are you kidding me?" feeling. :(
2
Really? I really enjoyed ME.
ME and fallout are different games, in that in ME there aren't much to do except for the main quests. The quality of the side quests were so bad, and the main quest so good, the experience was MUCH better once I decided to forget about the entire side quest thing.
Me was short, yes, but the narrative was excellent. It was cinematic and engaging.
Fallout has MUCH better side quests, and the main quest so laughably bad and weak, that it's the opposite experience. Use the main quest only to unlock some interesting areas, and just play the side quests.
5
[deleted]
1
No shit. You can always reload an earlier save, but I hit lvl 20 a good 5 hours before finishing the game. I've done most of the side quests, and have many of the unique weapons.
I guess I could rummage random places for ammo and loot, to help me on my, uh...
Or kill a bunch of enemies to gain exp...
Or start a new game and play as an evil character to see how it effects the endin...
Fuck.
6
I thought Fallout 1 did end after you finish the game. In order to get the game to "not end" you need to take advantage of a glitch.
SPOILER ALERT:
When the Overseer comes out of Vault 13 at the end you can run away to the world map before he gets to you. You'll be able to keep playing as long as you don't return to Vault 13. Otherwise you get told to leave (or kill him) and the credits roll.
END SPOILER
1
After the endgame sequence both Fallout games just drop you out where you were. Then you can keep exploring to your heart's content. This is after the credits roll.
1
Fallout 1 doesn't do this. And Bethesda said many times they were going for the feel of Fallout 1.
4
Didn't know that about Fallout 1 as I just got dumped onto the main menu.
2
I heard Far Cry 2 takes the cake when it comes to terrible endings.
2
My first thought exactly!
1
What a weird thing to do that when the ending plays that the game... ends?
1
Hurrr Oblivion with guns hurrrrr
2
simple scale:
-I played fallout1-2 several times, am going to buy them again, install and play, and enjoy cause I am feeling nostalgic about that home made mutton hoof soup.
-I recently finished fallout 3, enjoyed it moderately, never gonna buy it, install it, or play it again god willing, cause I just feel like I ate half a dozen of happy meals.
-I just reinstalled and started playing Tropico again to relax my WASDSHIFTEFSPACETAB crippled fingers, cause I feel like I have been having nothing but fast food lately and I need the exercise...
1
You finished Fallout3 but not bought it?
Did you pirate it?
If so, shame on you. You would never shoot a cop. DOWNLOADING IS A CRIME.
-1
You would never go to the toilet in his helmet.
12
And then return it to his grieving widow!
3
You would never cut your own dick off.
But on meth you would.
1
You can rent games you know or play them at friends houses.
0
Hence the If.
2
Fallout 3 is a crime against Fallout 2.
-4
Omg call 911..
Seriously - it's a good game, F2 was a good game, can't they live side by side without comparing them? F3 is already compared too much to Oblivion...
1
[deleted]
1
I don't believe in psychics, but I did something weird.
I thought to myself "Of all the hundred reviews Zero Punctuation has done, it'd be funny if this time he just said "it's good" and the review ended". I had never thought that before.
Then I clicked play, and baha, he did just that.
I'm an atheist, and obviously don't believe in psychics as such, but that was a freakin wierd co-incidence.
1
I had never thought that before.
I'd wager that you've had that thought a few times before but discarded it (and subsequently don't remember) and this time because the thought was still fresh in your mind it created the coincidence...
10
I understand and generally agree with your theory, but being someone with mostly a photographic memory, I personally say in this situation that's not the case.
I would probably have the same response to someone else in a general context though, therefor I voted you up.
1
As an experiment, can you let me know what you thought after you thought:
"Of all the hundred reviews Zero Punctuation has done, it'd be funny if this time he just said "it's good" and the review ended"
As far as I'm aware a photographic memory doesn't extend to your every thought...
0
[deleted]
1
[deleted]
1
Then I clicked play, and baha, he did just that.
He apparently thought the same thing.
1
[deleted]
1
[deleted]
1
Goddammit!
can't touch this
Stop!
'It's zero punctuation, but there's punctuation in the title. hahaha, im so original'- time!
♫ dooo do do do...de do....de do....♫
♫ meooowww meow meow meow....meow meow...meow meow....♫
cat touch this...
A cat is fine, too.
That so deserves its own submission.
How does he do it?
[deleted]
I believe it is SnagIt
Correct!
I've been wondering a long time about this, thanks for the info.