Zero Punctuation: Prince of Persia
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Dec 31, 2008, 5:01 PM UTC
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escapistmagazine.com
OK, for the most part he makes it out to be a pretty bad continuation of the franchise. However when he mentioned Eleka[sp] explosively cums grass seeds, I involuntarily ordered it from Amazon =\
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I told you that installing a cable modem in your penis was a bad idea.
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I lol'd at the final message:
"AND AT LEAST A LABRADOR WILL MAKE OUT WITH YOU IF YOU TRAIN IT PROPERLY"
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For those interested the game's currently on Sale on Steam until the 2nd (~37 USD).
And in hopes of abating the steam bashing:
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No, it doesn't 'clog up your system' anymore
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Yes it's much improved since you last tried it
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Yes you get your game if the Valve gets destroyed by dinosaurs/nazi's/some combination of both
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Yes it is a form of DRM, but it isn't shitty
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and finally No, it isn't without bugs, but it's not bad either
I'm still deciding whether to pick it up or not. Every review/person I've heard has said, 'Well it sucks, but it's awesome too', which doesn't help at all.
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dinosaurs/nazi's/some combination of both
I knew they were planning their attack...
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Wait, I see some raw flesh there... surely that's not... a zombie nazi dinosaur?
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Distrubingly accurate.
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Yes it is a form of DRM, but it isn't shitty
That's like saying "Yes herpes is an STD, but it won't kill you".
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Well Steam's DRM works for you because you don't need to keep up with updates or search for CDs years later when you want to relive memories.
The STD comparision would be a form of herpes that keeps track of all your ex-lovers so you can summon them years later at the slightest impulse, but refuses to share said privilege with anyone else (unless they sleep with Valve).
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Or, you could buy the physical disc with no DRM.
The STD comparison extends to "you can rent a beautiful hooker with an STD or you can marry an identical woman without an STD".
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Yeah but then you'd have to take care of your physical disc. I move around quite a bit, and I've been lugging a half suitcase full of DVDs and old games with me everywhere I go.
Steam is a godsend to me. So back to the STD comparision. Steam is like an escort in every city you're in rather than a single bride.
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Yes you get your game if the Valve gets destroyed by dinosaurs/nazi's/some combination of both
No, they just say this is the case. AFAIK, they have no actual obligation to do so. And in the meantime, they could still lock you out at any time, for any reason, and you'd have little recourse.
Any DRM is shitty when it means you're paying for something you have no end rights to. They just have it dressed up prettily enough that you don't mind your gilded cage nearly so much.
At the point I can buy DRM-free copies of games from Steam that exist solely on my hard drive and require no further authentication, then they are not shitty DRM. And not a moment before.
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Steam provides an adequate amount of piracy protection while actually making buying and playing games even more convenient than before for the end user. I don't ever have to leave my house to buy and play the games that I want, and if I want to format my computer then I can just download and install all of my games again at once with one program.
Personally, I love Steam. DRM is unfortunately necessary. Of course we would all love to live in a world where there is no DRM, but these companies pour a lot of money into developing these games, and they need some way to protect their product from being stolen.
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DRM is unfortunately necessary. Of course we would all love to live in a world where there is no DRM, but these companies pour a lot of money into developing these games, and they need some way to protect their product from being stolen.
Repeat after me: DRM does not stop piracy. There is no evidence it does anything except slow it down by a matter of hours. Name a game on Steam, and I could go find a link to a cracked copy of it within a few minutes. The only thing I wouldn't be able to do is access online\multiplayer modes, but you don't need restrictive DRM to police online play.
DRM does not stop piracy.
So... WHY it is necessary for me to give up my end-user rights to use a product I paid for, just for the sake of them not stopping the piracy of it? The only things DRM does are inconvenience me, and cost them money. It provides absolutely no demonstrable net benefit.
I just see no reason to pay someone to make my life more difficult.
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Of course DRM stops piracy. It stops the casual user (there are more casual users than hardcore ones) from copying the disc and giving it to his friends. It doesn't stop the hardcore bit torrent folk, but they don't buy games anyways. Which is why Spore was still one of the highest selling games of the year, despite being all over the torrent sites (which is why referencing those sites is poor when claiming DRM is causing piracy). It has sold well over a million copies.
You obviously never lived in the days of manual protection and code wheel games. You had to flip through several pages of the manual to find a word and it was annoying as hell. The new DRM is transparent. Well, unless of course you purposely try to set it off. But in the end, you can always download a crack which takes mere minutes.
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I don't ever have to leave my house to buy and play the games that I want
If only there was somewhere you could buy physical goods on the internet and have them delivered to your door.
DRM is unfortunately necessary.
It's funny you say that for a game where the retail copies shipped without any DRM whatsoever.
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But then how can I get Achievement points?
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Yes, achievement points are delicious candy. How else can I even irrationally justify going to crazy lengths to do something awesome in a videogame? I need the blip and for my friends list to see that I, in fact, finished Mirror's Edge on hard without killing anyone.
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I didn't do it on Hard. It was hard enough doing it on Normal.
I just like Achievement Points. They add more challenge and obsticles to a game. And they reward me for doing it.
I mean sure, they're like those participation ribbons they give out on field day in elementary school, but I still like when that blip pops up and I can go "Yay Me!"
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Plus they directly correspond to the size of your penis.
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amen to that!
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Do people reply "no shit, sherlok" to you comments all the time?
And yeah, Steam's a lot better now then when it first started.
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It actually hasn't happened on reddit yet, but it has elsewhere where I've used this name.
Happens in games all the time, either that or some crude joke about sexing Watson....
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dinosaurs/nazi's/some combination of both
You got it right on "dinosaurs" but not on "nazis"?
Hunh.
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Maybe he wasn't sure which one was right, so he put them both in knowing that it was the most sure way to find out, since a reddit comment would soon correct him.
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If I ever see you in real life (IRL) I'm going to buy you a drink simply because you said, "the Valve."
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the Valve
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Oh hey, I was replying to one of your many comments regarding the legality of making a digital copy of a DVD you buy and it turns out that I was totally wrong and that it is indeed illegal to make a digital copy. So I was wrong and I'm sorry for being a belligerent ass. I still disagree with that illegality but that's just an opinion.
Anyways take care
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the Valve the Valve the Valve.
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The Google
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"The female character can easily be replaced by a magical Labrador."
Ludology sense... tingling...
That's Integration 101!
If you can replace an element in your game with a screwdriver, and the game still works, it's not integrated in your game!
For instance, if you have to make a game about frogs, and your idea is a cooking contest where the last dish is frog's legs, the game is not about frogs, it's about cooking. If you change the last dish to spaghetti, it would still work.
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i think he makes that point in the Left4Dead review too.
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If they could just take the gameplay/characters from Sands of Time, put in the combat system from Warrior Within, and slap on the new gorgeous visual style from the new game and package it all together, they would have one of the greatest games ever made. It's like they almost get it right every time, but not quite.
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Uh, I think you mean the combat system from TTT. TTT was, AFAICR, the same combat system as in WW but with speed kills added. In TTT, the combat was a lot more enjoyable, IMO.
Also, the boss battles in WW were fucking horrible, whereas in TTT they were improved.
Edit: BTW, modded up. I've been saying the same thing since Warrior Within, except now I s/Warrior Within/The Two Towers/.
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Quite an injustice, that's the first time I feel it on a zp review.... This game is gold, we need more of it. The dialog is wonderful, and optional, the collors are beautiful, the accent doesn't bother me... Anyway... pirate this game, if you like it like me, buy it, no DRM goodness.
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stop having opinions around here!
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You spelt colour without a u, therefore you are probably from the USA, which is what he said the target audience for the dialogue was, so it's no surprise that you like it.
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He also spelt colour with an extra l, I'm not sure where that means he's from. Perhaps he is awfully fond of llamas.
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I am! ;D
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I'm South American.
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I'm not sure about your browser but Mozilla constantly underlines colour as being misspelled.
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Are you kidding me? The game is so repetitive you can clear the first two areas and have played through the whole thing. Awesome animation system? Yeah but that doesn't mean shit if the game is boring. Not to mention the fact that the dialog is crap anyway. Want a good game with great dialog? Play Psychonauts or Grim Fandango and then tell me the dialog in PoP is good.
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Your comment is another horrible INJUSTICE!
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Funny, you didn't mention the important bits...
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Nah, I bought it, waste of money.
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Combat was extremely limited—i.e., I just blocked when I needed to, then randomly mashed buttons while my avatar flipped and punch the assailant.
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No additional powers as the game went on—your first fight with the black god dude was the only fight. Everything after that was a repetition.
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I couldn't die, making everything extremely boring.
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The story was OK.
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Graphics were good.
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Platorming 'puzzles' were simplistic, again couldn't die, so there was no challenge.
Worth $20.
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I guess in a way it gets a bit repetitive, but I haven't played a Prince of Persia since Sands of Time so it is quite fun. I think I'm about half way through and am still enjoying myself.
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"Injustice"? Um, ok. I thought it was just a game review from a very funny guy. He even liked it... but that doesn't mean he shouldn't point out it's many flaws.
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This guy was funny at first. Now he gets on my nerves.
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Probably the poorest Yahtzee review.
edit: I guess I'm not allowed to express an opinion anymore lol
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it wasn't funny, but damn, did he sum up this game in the first minute well.
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Really? I laughed out loud a couple of times.
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Yeah I tried drinking while watching the beginning... that would not have ended well, had I gotten the bottle to my mouth.
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Let me guess: he hated it.
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Nope.
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Good edit.
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Ehh, I think it was just a boring game.
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It's zero punctuation, but there's punctuation in the title. hahaha, im so original.
You, my friend, are nothing if not disturbingly dedicated.
If he didn't do this some week, I'd suspect that he was dead.
or for the first time in his life...alive.
Puts on sun-glasses
Wat happens when you run out of letters ???
Edit: It's just not a proper jdfong thread if no one asks that question.
Are you adding a meme to a meme that's associated with a weekly video? This is going to get even more repetitive than it is now.
YO DAWG
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Do you have a script that does this for you? That's my theory.
It's not a script; every week he manages to get a ton of people to upvote the exact same comment.
It's not exactly the same.
lol that makes me want to downvote
I just wrote a script to do it.
either that or he's mastered the ol' "copy and paste" trick
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Open MS Word. Copy, Paste, Change every week
I meant the posting the video like 1 second after it's up...
He's just that good.
I see my prediction was not as accurate as previously imagined
you didn't factor in the holiday
What if everyone replied in the same way next week? That would be craazy!
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Can we stop saying this every single time a zero punctuation review goes up? Or at least stop upvoting it so much? The humor of it has dwindled considerably so I come from watching a funny and entertaining video, go to the comments section and immediately become sullen at the first comment.
I click on the comments section to read responses to the reviews or caveats about the game not mentioned in said review.
Yes, I would like cheese with my whine, but seriously, it's not right for the bottom half of the comments to be the only section to be on topic
I think that people who do not like my comment click the [-] button next to my comment, then you can barely tell i've been here.
Reddit needs to allow us to automate memes. It'd save him a lot of work.
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Yo dawg, I accidentally one hundred pushups, see what I did there? FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE WHILE WE DO IT LIVE so you can whistle for a cab, and when it comes neALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD. I give you a hamburger. I GIVE YOU A HAMBURGER.
I came.
OMNOMNOMNOM