Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto - Chinatown Wars
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Apr 8, 2009, 4:00 PM UTC
211121
escapistmagazine.com
30 GOTO 10
Brilliant.
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Just when I think ZP is starting to get repetitive and tedious he throws out things like that.
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30 GOTO 10
Brilliant.
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Just when I think ZP is starting to get repetitive and tedious he throws out things like that.
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Him calling a game on a Nintendo system 'halfway-decent' is like the biggest compliment I've heard from him.
Chinatown wars is particularly awesome, though, especially for people (like me) who are too cheap to buy a 360 and play the "real" GTAs.
I'm 50% through the game and spent twenty hours. A DS game that will take up close to 50 hours before finishing? That's fucking stellar, I think.
Christ, Resident Evil 5 only took 10 hours on the hardest setting in co-op. Gears of War 1-2 even less.
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Why is the length of a game part of it's value to you? Maybe I'm just getting old, but with the amount of time I have to play games I'd like to see all the content in 15 hours or less.
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Because it costs me money.
When I see something liked Resident Evil 4 last 2x as long as RE:5 it makes me upset, especially since 4 did a lot of things better than 5.
If I'm spending 50-60 (or 40ish for DS games) of my earned money, I'd like to get more than ten hours out of it. $60 for a 10 hour game is a worse value than $10 for a 3 hour movie.
And the vast majority of people agree that movie theaters are ripping us off.
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Suppose there are two nearly identical games. They have the same amount of quality content, but one game has a lot of filler added that is only marginally fun but lengthens it considerably. Which game do you prefer?
If you answered the first one, then your criteria isn't really how long the game is, but how much content it has. I'd much prefer a game with a high content/time density to a game with low content/time density regardless of length. Price it by how much content it has, not how long it takes to see it.
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It depends. Sometimes you are constrained for time, and do not want to spend a long time to get the story.
Sometimes you have a lot of time(public transit 2 hours a day time) and need something that is fun but really long. (pokemon)
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agree. one of my problems with bioshock was that it had the same amount of content as hl2ep1 but took hours and hours. grinding is for mmos.
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Also, he's forgetting that games like Gears and GTA have technically infinite content, so long as you play online.
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Portal was priced appropriately for its brevity though, if you're going to make a shorter game that's fine, but I'm not paying full price for it.
I can beat Darwinia in 7 hours, but I payed $10 for it and it was $10 well spent. However, I can beat Mirror's Edge in roughly the same time and that stupid game is still $50 dollars! No, annoying amounts of bloom do not justify that cost.
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More isn't always better. More GOOD content is a good thing, but if you have to backtrack the entire game, or fight through all of the same monsters except this time they're red instead of blue...that's retarded.
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Yeah, a lot of that can be true. I HATE it when monsters respawn in areas I'm forced to backtrack through.
Read: Jet Force Gemini for N64. Not only do they respawn, but they do the old 'color switch' to be different monsters. Yet . . . I beat Gemini 2-3 times back in the day.
So, frankly, if a game is good enough (gameplay, story/sound/art) I'll play through repetitive parts.
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Speaking personally I felt my money was well spent on RE5 for Co-Op Mercenaries alone, but to each his own I suppose.
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shut up, in Denmark we paid $20 for a ticket to see watchmen...
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As long as the game stays good to the end, I wouldn't mind playing a year long game.
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It's not so much about the raw amount of time it takes to play through the main part of the game. It's more about how you can get lost in a game and screw around for a million hours should you feel like it; that's value.
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Yeah, I'm constantly looking for games that deliver a dense, interesting experience in as little time as possible. I just don't get joy out of doing the same thing for many hours, increasing stats or getting bigger weapons. I love the Halflife games because there's a constant narrative and physical progression, and I can pick it up and save out whenever I like. Anything even hinting at being familiar with the RPG genre is immediate cause for me to dismiss a game.
I guess it was different when I was playing games to pass time. Now I want to fill what little leisure time I have with something especially interesting.
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There are some situations where a certain amount of grunt work adds to the experience. System Shock 2 for instance wouldn't have been the same game without the limited inventory. It added to the feeling of vulnerability that you had to make real decisions about what to keep and what to discard, even if often you were just shuffling things around in a box. In some situations maybe a feeling of space is essential to the theme of the game, so the long walking sections contribute meaningfully.
Generally though, I think there's an age divide here. Younger people with more time than money want long games. Older people with more money than time want short games.
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Agreed, Chinatown wars is surprisingly fun. It has joined the ranks of my favorite DS games (which includes Professor Clayton and Big Bang Mini)
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You'll find out very soon that the % shown in the save file does not represent how far you are through the storyline by itself, and that a large chunk of the progress % is side quests. This was a pretty big let down for me. The side quests are fun, and I still enjoyed the game. Still, the % was a bit fraudulent.
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Yeah, but I'm one of those people who will play a game to 100% completion.
The only thing I might not do is destroy 100 security cameras.
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If you want to experience the best aspect of this game just fire up Drug Wars on your old T-88/89 and you're golden.
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ti 88 wtf is that???
A thing I just made up in my head just then that I also played Drug Wars on.
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Thank you for copying the deleted comment. and rugs wars worked on the ti 83+ too, but i liked space invaders and tetris better.
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rugs wars
PERSIANS GONE WILD
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Galaxian was the shit dude. Also Gemini was just plain impressive (its a 3d shooter).
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Maybe I'm a total video geek, but I was really happy for the nod to the real Test Card F.
Edit: Link replaced with a better one.
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This is the first ZP review which I've disagreed with entirely. I find the game plays pretty good, and the touch screen 'mini games' are a nice addition. Also I've had no troubles with the controls, camera, or enemy AI. Anyone else with me?
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I mostly agree, the molotovs are pretty hard to throw though, especially when driving.
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Maybe that's realism. I know I would suck at throwing a burning bottle wine during a high speed chase when I'm driving, but that's me.
=D
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i agree but the touchscreen stuff is annoying. Switching from touchscreen to buttons is the worst thing you can do on the DS. They could've at least made it optional.
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I haven't had any problems - I just hold the stylus while pushing the buttons. Most of the time, you know when a minigame is coming up anyway, so switching isn't very hard.
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If they made it optional, no one would bother since it would be faster (to steal a car, etc) just to avoid it altogether.
I find there's enough time between the game and mini-game to pull out my stylus (from a DS Lite anyway) and use it, and then put it back before the game loads again. (Not for the toll bridge though, I just use my finger for that)
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I'm a southpaw so I hold the stylus between my pointer and middle finger when using the touchpad and find it really easy to switch to it when I need it.
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Brought to us by Naruto: Ultimate Ninja somthing whatever, available exclusively for the PS2. Kill smash fight win!
Wait... PS what?!?
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Narutards are too busy buying mangas to save up for a newer console apparently.
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And using their ninja skills to overcome adversity and realise the value of friendship! Repeatedly!
Apparently nobody over the age of 12 actually watches that shit in its country of origin, christ.
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I was in Chinatown yesterday and I saw a big ass-poster for this game. I wonder how they feel about it.
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I liked the hidden spoiler
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Holy balls! They got rid of the intrusive, interrupt-your-video Flash video ad before the actual video!
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Nope. Still there.
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the ending! It hurts! Took me a few seconds to realize he wasn't going to stop so I had to close the tab.
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He does stop, though. There's a joke after that point.
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Crap. Does this mean I have to watch it again?
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Nah, it's pretty predictable.
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I'm sort of bored of ZP reviews, anyone else?
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I wasn't aware that the only use for a review was entertainment: I thought it was supposed to help inform your purchasing/playing choices.
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Has anyone ever bought (or not bought) a game based on a ZP review?
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I have.
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I went out and got Painkiller specifically because of his review of it.
That's the most fun I've had with an FPS since Wolf3D.
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Painkiller rocks! I've never really felt such a sense of scale in games until Painkiller. And I can't believe how much of Venice they re-created. I didn't even realize it was Piazza San Marco until I saw it on TV later and recognized it! What a beautiful game.
Painkiller: Overdose, was kind of disappointing, though.
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I bought psychonauts based on his review.
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Yes, though he likes different games than I do.
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Saints Row 2, and I'm damn happy I did.
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Don't even bother criticising yahtzee, he's taken on the mailbag before, and it was HILARIOUS.
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IMHO Yahtzee is one of the only true reviewers out there. He captures the essence of gameplay in words that accurately describe what a player experiences, and while he might not be bubbling with praise, those shoes are filled well by the rest of the so-called reviewers in the industry. This entire review aside from a couple goofy segues and the introduction was all about gameplay... just like the rest of Yahtzee's reviews.
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That's the thing... he grumbled and nit-picked away at this game and yet I read it as being a positive review. If I had a ds this 'review' would probably have me buy it.
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I agree. While I don't agree with all his reviews, I do like every negative he points out about games. Sometimes, they're negatives I don't see myself (and other times they're negatives that I don't have a problem of).
It's kinda like the Angry Video Game Nerd.
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Long enough ago that you could get downvoted for saying so, but they are still entertaining if you only catch them every once and awhile.
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like every wednesday?
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I'd never ever let a negative review of his bother me (so mostly all of them), but when i have gotten stuff he recommends i've enjoyed it.
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Holy shit, it wasn't just me.
I've been trying to get into this game, but I just can't. The terrible 2D viewpoint keeps pulling me out. Even with the auto guidance on (which was a good idea) I still can't go more than 50 feet without running into something.
And I just wonder, why did they choose to present the game that way? Other, far less overdeveloped DS games managed to pull off the pseudo-GTA experience in full 3D. The Transformers game comes to mind. I don't see why, if Activision can make a crappy GTA clone on the DS using the limited budget of a licensed title, Rockstar couldn't have made something of roughly the complexity of GTA 3.
But yes, it really does feel like that their design philosophy for this was to do something boneheaded to counter things that had been done boneheadedly. Can't drive or target? Make the missions easy! Can't tell the difference between all the teeny little people-figures? Have PDA messages telling you exactly who has the drug deals.
And yet, according to Metacritic, it's the best game on the DS. (mutter)
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Assuming you actually want answers to those questions you asked, I'd recommend reading this.
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They don't really answer those questions. All they do is say some vague things about the DS not feeling so much like a portable console. And apparently, that it was more important to them to have robust citizen AI than to do it in true 3D.
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Well, while I really like the GTA games, I'm not a big fan of the series' 3D games to be honest, so this latest game has been an instant favourite for me. And I thought that interview pretty much explained why they chose to design a game like this (Read: 2D -- instead of 3D). Anyway, thrust
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Is it just me or is this shit getting old?
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I played GTA when it was 2D on the PC, and it was a lot better than any other GTA. Simply adding a third dimension doesn't make a game good. What a narrow-minded twit.
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Saying that the original GTA in 2D is better than GTA: San Andreas is just being obdurate.
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At least you used to be able to run over a line of Hari Krishnas all with a satisfying splat sound... I've whined about this before but it all went downhill when they removed the rampages...
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Kill Frenzy!
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If you want a GTA that encourages you to be reckless check out Saints Row 2.
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I was gonna but I heard that the PC version was very buggy...
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Gouranga!
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Nice, I learned a word today.
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officemonkey: helping you improve your SAT scores since 2006.
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PSP has 3D GTA games. Why can't the DS? It's got plenty of other 3D games.
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it is 3d, its just a top down perspective by design.
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It is 3d just top down 3d
and the PSP uses a larger capacity medium than the DS, the psp has a maximum of 1.5gb or there abouts and im not sure what the DS one is but the nds files you can get of games vary from about 32mb to 128mb (the one for GTA Chinatown wars is 120mbish).
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The 3D processing power is significantly smaller in the DS. There is a limit to the number of polygons that the 3D subsystem will display per frame so that framerate is not lost (and it is a really small number of polygons).
The main CPUs of the DS are also clocked at much lower speeds to those found in the PSP, so the DS literally can't work as fast as the PSP.
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Rockstar probably just thought it would be easier to make it 2D.
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The Wii is a computer. The DS is a computer.
They do not have personalities. They're not going to spit out a game just because its a certain genre. I don't know why Yahtzee clings to the thought that video game systems are some magic sentient beings that spontaneously make games their selves. In the end, its the developers that decides what kind of games to make for it.
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i'll wager a guess that he does realize game consoles are not living beings.
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I think when he refer to the 'wii' he's referring to the developers of wii games.
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dick
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It's zero punctuation, but there's punctuation in the title. hahaha, im so original.
Oh, is it Wednesday already?
Thursday in Australia!
Wooooo GMT +10!!!!
Well hey, daylight savings are over :D
GMT +11 is only like the Solomon Islands. Or daylight saving, I guess, but that's finished now.
This comment has become as comforting and consistent as jdfong.
The more we become addicted to routine, the more we can fool ourselves into thinking life permanent and death not inevitable.
Don't you mean death evitable?
For some reason, that comment doesn't go down so well in an xkcd thread...
at least use a sockpuppet to karma farm, sheesh!
You mean it's only Wednesday?
No, it's definately not only Wednesday. It was Thursday here in .au when you posted your comment.
Everyone should just start calling their country by it's ccTLD.
Yep. All day.
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No, it's the day after Tuesday.
Karma Points Per Week, Graphed
Side note: I have to go back and redo the entire thing at some point to account for people apparently going back to previous weeks and up/down voting, so numbers are currently (slightly) inaccurate. Sorry.
I think the data from the day of is good to know also. Maybe do two graphs?
two lines plotted on the same graph would be very interesting. You'd see the tide of opinion turning as history revises itself.
Wait wait, where's the guy with the graph?! It's been four hours already! He should have the graph ready!
y'know, he could just keep adding syllables to the hahaha.
What are you going to do when you run out of letters?
zp will probably not be funny anymore. as the trend clearly shows.
haaave my baaabieeesss
omg I'm losing my sanity because of you, this was never funny and repeating it every fucking week doesn't change that fact in the slightest.
What about linking each letter?