Zero Punctuation Reviews Tom Clancys HAWX
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Apr 22, 2009, 4:02 PM UTC
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escapistmagazine.com
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Wait a second, there's no punctuation in the title! Gasp
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But there should be: "Tom Clancy's HAWX".
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My mind is blown.
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OH SHI-
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Oh, is it Wednesday already?
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sigh
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Silence. Reddit has decreed that this behavior is to be rewarded, and so, like well-trained rats, we must scrabble over each other to compete for it.
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We will not have anyone question the hivemind, be they a spy or a famous doctor!
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Had that last week. Didn't find any reason, never got any help. Watched it at work the next day.
But it works this week.
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Oh right! XKCD time!
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i wondered if this might happen...
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Why do people even try to beat you, its not funny.
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Note the submitter of this article.
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Now, without the sandvich in the mouth, please?
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Hahaha, the parody has itself become a trite cliche.
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Parody? What parody?
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WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHING!
Edit: Look at his nick, you naysayers, you.
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Vote for escapist for best video game website!? lol pls, the only reason I go there is for ZP.
I suspect their GA looks like
______/\_______
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The escapist used to be a great site, they really blew it by going all web 2.0 and looking generic.
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1up used to have the entire site wrap in flash, the damn thing took half a minute to load. Now that it is "down graded" to html, the whole site is more usable.
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You mean back when they tried to be a print magazine online, and so their site was completely broken for anyone with their font size slightly different than their designers expected? It may suck ass now, but I thought it was even worse back then.
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I guess I was fortunate enough to have to right font size, I absolutely loved their print magazine online format.
That does sound like quite the horrible problem though.
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Unforgotten Realms isn't too bad either, as are one or two of the others. Zero Punctuation is definitely their best though.
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This won't make me popular on reddit, but I enjoy occasional episodes of Unskippable too.
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Wow, someone dowmodded you for stating a different opinion, how fucking surprising.
Back to 1.
(I do also enjoy some episodes of it.)
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It feels dirty for being a MST3K clone, other then that it has its moments.
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Hey, enough of your anti-clone prejudice.
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Seriously. A year ago, the site wasn't infested with so much ridiculous ads. There's no way I'm voting for it this year, if at all.
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Comedic genius to give away random spoilers at the end.
And where the hell does he get these metaphors? "Threading the eye of a needle with the leg of an angry spider" is the funniest thing I'm likely to hear all day.
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He lives in Australia, land of the angry spider, drunken snakes, crocks, sharks, poisonous trees, drought and he has socks with holes in them from wearing sandals.
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Don't forget beautiful beaches that deceptively contain thousands of tiny jellyfish no bigger than a dime that, when they sting you, put your body into debilitating agony for almost a week without killing you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irukandji_jellyfish
Patients have been reported as being so certain that they are going to die that they beg their doctors to kill them to get it over with.[11] Symptoms generally abate in 4 to 30 hours, but may take up to two weeks to resolve completely.
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And drop bears
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And also including the majestic moose
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Oh they can kill you too...
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At least some of the sheep are nice.
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Also the land where people leave live sharks outside your office..
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSTRE53M0OH20090423
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If he's anything like me ...
(I don't presume he is, but it is the best comparison I can make seeing as I am sometimes credited with amusing metaphors and similes in my own circle of friends)
... he's making literally dozens of metaphors a day, most of which fall flat or remain only in his mind. The best are remembered and saved for the relatively few times he makes something for a wider audience. In other words, lots and lots of practice.
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Ace Combat 6 was better, cheaper and prettier. Unless you enjoyed the bs 'drifting' in HAWX.
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I love flying (both in games and in the real world), and therefore kept thinking of getting HAWX despite having Ace Combat 6 already. I tried its online multiplayer and got my ass handed to me. Not being able to look around a cockpit like you can in a real airplane makes flying tight situations (like combat flight) amazingly less realistic.
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I never seen a dogfight game where you can't look around in the cockpit. Are you sure you can't?
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I meant "by turning your neck" - sorry I wasn't clear on that.
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There's PC peripherals for just that purpose. You stick a little thing on your forehead and a USB device on top of your screen and for games that support it you just turn your head to look around in the game.
Never tried it myself.
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I agree. Ace Combat 6 is faultless - and this coming from someone highly critical of Japanese games as a rule. Combat is tighter, graphics seem sweeter, and it generally has a certain mystical quality to it. Not faulting HAWX by any means - it does a lot I'd like to see emulated in Ace Combat 7 - but damn, I love ace combat 6.
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Go dance with the angels!
Go dance with the angels!
Go dance with the angels!
Go dance with the angels!
Go dance with the angels!
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Another defiiiiiiant one....
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I nearly bought a 360 for that game alone. Bought AC4 on a lark for the PS2 years ago, and it slowly became one of my favorites of all time.
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I first bought the game, then lost it, then rented it, then bought it again, then finally bought the re-released joystick.
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...and on the 360. Whereas HAWX makes a very welcome appearance on the PC and PS3 as well as the 360.
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Did they remove the incessant 'realistic' beeping that made AC4 a mutestravaganza?
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rofl...no i remember the last few missions were constant during combat just due to the amount of people attacking you. that was the one 'feature' i did hate about ac6.
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I enjoyed the game but the "twist" was laughable at best. I'd have loved the option to fight the US thanks, especially because when the baddies revealed themselves they asked me to join them.
Instead of being able to I had to join the US freedom party, no thanks! I was going to be the most evil bastard ever, why wasn't I allowed?
Also the last level, all that flying just to shoot one missle? Why even bother?
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Yeah, the "Epilogue" mission isn't much of a challenge after everything that comes before it. They might as well have run the credits over that one. My rabbit chewed through my flight joystick cable, so I had to use a PS2-style USB controller to play HAWX. Flying just isn't the same without the stick, but the game is good arcade-style fun so I'll probably play it again once I get a new one.
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For the canyon flying I guess. It was fun and pretty.
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He likes the game?
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Moreover, he likes a game which received 71% to 75% on Gamerankings, depending on the platform?
My best guess is that he liked it specifically because he isn't a flight simulator fan. This isn't much of a flight simulator, but it's a reasonable fighter jet action game, which he can appreciate, where flight sim fans are apt to be critical.
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Flight sim fan here. I have no way of knowing whether Ace Combat is better, as I'm PC-bound, but HAWX was a really enjoyable experience. There was very little I didn't like, and I'm usually extremely critical of games.
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I wasn't a fan; the handling seemed way too controlled and I couldn't get used to the third-person dogfighting.
But you're a flight sim fan. Can you recommend a good air combat game? I was a big fan of dogfighting in Battlefield 2 and 1942, and I'm dying to get that thrill in a more complete game.
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It depends on whether you really mean sims. Dogfighting in BF isn't much better than in HAWX, realism-wise. Sadly, whichever way you want to turn, you don't have much of a choice. The genre is dying.
The best "air combat" game I can think of is Crimson Skies, which annoyingly won't play on modern hardware. Coming from a far more realistic corner of the field (still far from a "study sim" but accessible, fun and reasonably realistic) was USAF from 1999, which... indeed, won't work on XP or Vista either. And really, I have no knowledge of other games comparable to these two from this decade. Thus I'm waiting for GOG to pick one of them up :)
Top-of-the-line modern combat sim games are currently a relatively straightforward affair. The most universally acclaimed, I believe, is Il-2 Sturmovik, which I didn't like much game-wise, and it doesn't feel realistic enough either. Enter Falcon 4: Allied Force and you've stepped into the hardcore simulation domain. Lock On is currently the most realistic multi-airframe sim. And DCS - Black Shark (by the same guys who made Lock On) is very possibly the most realistic combat simulator ever created for the PC. Annoyingly for some (me), it features a helicopter instead of a plane. Their next offering will be the A-10 though, which I'm very eagerly waiting for. And that's the whole market.
Which one of those to choose? If you can live with greatly inferior graphics, I'd try out Falcon 4: AF first. It's at least solacing that you only have one plane to master.
|Edit:| It just dawned to me that you liked the dogfighting because you were fighting other people. The only thing in my list which would offer a similar experience is inevitably Il-2, because it has the largest following online. Additionally, jet dogfights are a wholly different ordeal (forget BF2 for a moment, it doesn't have much in common with them), and far from ideal for multiplayer. So you should probably get Il-2: 1946 off GOG or Steam, it's only ten dollars.
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As hard as threading the eye of a needle with the leg of an angry spider is a new favorite metaphor
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The game appears to have exactly the same plot as the most recent season of 24. Coincidence?
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No, play Splinter Cell. Whoever writes Clancy's 'story lines' for his games hates PMC's and thinks in the future they will take over the world with China.
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Don't forget about Hideo Kojima!
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I can't wait until some good games come out again.
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hmm, i thought he said he liked it. other than the extremely small number of games he puts on a pedestal (Portal, PoP, Thief2) its hard to remember any game that sounds like it got a positive review from yahtzee. nonetheless, some games have gotten off without much pain at all, if only i could remember which ones.
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See, the thing that first attracted me to Zero Punctuation was that he pointed out the bad things in great games in an extremely funny way. I never watched one of his reviews to decide if a game is good or not. When his reviews are mostly negative, it didn't necessarily mean the game was bad. Most of the time it was better to watch the review after you played the game.
But so far in 2009 there hasn't been one game that I have been interested in buying. Yahtzee still has to review something every week so I don't blame him, the video game companies have to step it up.
So when I say that I can't wait until some good games come out, it's because I want yahtzee to make fun of them.
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Zeno Clash. I'm sure he will review it sooner or later, and it's bonkers good.
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Painkiller got a pretty positive review from him. I bought it eventually, and watching his review again after playing the game reminded me just how good of a reviewer he is. Good and Bad, he summed up what it is like to play the game without missing any detail.
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and thats why he doesn't give numbers in his reviews. it would ruin the nuances of each individual game. basically, you need to realize which things annoy you, and which things you can deal with.
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Oh shit, did he... just hurt a kitten!?
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I don't think they suggested I vote for a webby enough. Unfortunely they made me want to vote for someone else.
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Anyone else catch him pronouncing sloths: "slothes"?
Is that Aussie, Brit, or just Yahtzee?
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British English. Watch anything narrated by Sir David Attenborough for example.
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I wish I could upmod more - the insertion of the subliminal Cerne Abbas Giant deserves it.
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I'm going to need to find a way to wear out "Press X to make the world safe for democracy."
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Hilariously appropriate that the Webby Awards image is the thumbnail for this submission.
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Fear the PMC.
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Trying to thread a needle with the leg of angry spider and lol @ the spoilers at the end.
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The irony is that he actually uses a lot of punctuations every single episode
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i went back and watched some old reviews, if only for the mystery of what music would be playing.
Copyrighted songs.
It should be covered under fair use, even if it really, really isn't. Fucking SCOTUS.
'course, still more fun however.
Yeah :/
fairuse
I have perfected the art of unmuting the volume just as the episode starts. Seriously, to the nanosecond.
I quite enjoy the Zero Punctuation theme.
Downmod away.
Downmodded for predicting downmods.
Its a self fulfilling prophecy... do you see what he did there?
I like the music too.
With pleasure. You're an idiot.
Of course, because he didn't agree with you.
That, and because it's a horrible song, and he likes it, ergo, he is an idiot.