Zero Punctuation: Siren Blood Curse
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted Apr 29, 2009, 3:59 PM UTC
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escapistmagazine.com
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Oh, is it Wednesday already?
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sigh
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And Wednesday comes after Tuesday!
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What happens when you run out of letters?
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He'll use the punctuation.
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Or he'll laugh harder.
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He already skipped the punctuation though.
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I have realized it is not a countdown.
P.S. I am a shithead
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may i ask where your "i am a shit head" thingy originates from?
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He lost a bet.
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...because HE IS YAHTZEE! EEE! FANBOY SLOBBER ON MY SCREEN! AUTOGRAPH AUTOGRAPH AUTOGRAPHAUTOFUCKYOUGRAPHAUTOGRAPH!!1!1!eleventyone
/s, because I hate you.
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Go back to Digg.
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Agreed, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good point.
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I can't wait till you run out of letters so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore. Christ. Shut up.
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If he has no good games to review, I wouldn't mind him reviewing some old classics. It would be interesting to see his take on Super Mario Bros. 3
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Boo! The best ones are where he totally hates the game.
I liked this one.
edit: Besides, hearing about all the bad games re-affirms my view that I'm not insane to be playing the same three old games year after year.
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Nah, the review of the Orange box was among his best EVAR moments.
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Only because of Portal.
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Not to complain about downmods, you all do as you please, but he even referenced the fact that he was contractually obligated to point out the flaws in EP1, EP2 (slow release in spite of promises, out-of-place characters, and bland gameplay elements until the Finale), and TF2(bland environments and repeat-till-you're-perfect repetitive gameplay). And that despite this contractual obligation he could think of no criticism to level at Portal.
I know the rest of the world thinks Half-Life is God's gift to gamers and is above criticism, but that Yahtzee's Review aligns with that view and was a "best EVAR" is demonstrably false.
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If you believe that every game he says is bad is bad you're missing out on a lot of good games, wasted money on Assassin's Creed, and probably wasted money buying any of the current gen systems.
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Assasin's Creed was awesome.
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For about an hour. Then the amazingly repetitive gameplay begins to nag at me, like a deer tick tunnelling deep into my brain stem. I kept going, hoping that it would ch-ch-ch-change it up, but nothing. Just more rinse-repeat gameplay. Essentially, it became a game of side-quests.
Also, I had serious qualms with the very nature of the game. I went in expecting a very Hitman styled game, with careful forethought, guard pattern analysis and a plethora of creative avenues through which murdering a target is possible. Instead, I got a game that was essentially just a somewhat stilted concoction which never really developed the gameplay concepts to a reasonable depth.
I quite liked Jesper Kyd's musical score for the game though. He also did music for the Hitman games! Whataguy.
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Eh I didn't like it. The controls and fighting weren't all that great, and the story was so bland I just wanted to skip it all (thats really rare for me).
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Sorry, man. You are wrong.
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I sure feel like I wasted money on the Wii
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"I feel like Charlton Heston at the end of that movie Solent Green yelling 'Noooo! The Wii is made of Poo! Stop making games for it!'" -- Yahtzee, Mad World Review
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I like it when he reviews games I've actually played before, and nit-picks a game I enjoyed.
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My thoughts exactly, which is why I think he should review old school classics when there are no good games out, instead of reviewing games barely anyone has played.
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barely anyone has heard of.
FTFY
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There are plenty of good games out, he just doesn't seem to want to play anything but first person survival/horror games.
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Yahtzee points out the biggest problem with Japanese games today, namely that they don't ever want you to have any control over the game experience whatsoever. What? Non-linear sandbox gameplay? Giving control of the camera to the players? NEVER! It's like the game is their artistic child and they will be damned if they let you have any say on what you can and cannot see or where you can or cannot go. I haven't played any new Japanese games since Yakuza pissed me off for these same reasons. And so help me Japanese Developers, if I have to jump INTO THE FUCKING CAMERA your game is shit. Period. A total waste of my time if I can't gauge where I am jumping to. Mario64, for all the praise it received, was horrible about this. /rant off.
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I don't think every game needs to be a sandbox simulator with full controls... it's nice to have a controlled narrative. But you're right about shitty cameras. They can really fuck up a game.
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Max Payne. Great example.
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I assume you mean a controlled narrative rather than a shitty camera.
I never played it when it came out, but I rented the XBOX version from Gamefly and just finished playing it.
Gameplay-wise it had some cool ideas, but aiming was horribly imprecise, so the bullet time, and shooting in general, wasn't as satisfying as it might have been otherwise. I did like how they implemented points of interest and quick save was a lifesaver especially in walk-on-a-beam sections (My left analog stick drifts really bad, so I kept running off edges).
What really struck me though, was the narrative. Not so much the story itself -- it was a decent, but "Undercover cop gets framed and has to clear his name" is a pretty standard story template -- it was the presentation. I thought the live-action comic style was really cool.
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Play Max Payne 2 - it is AMAZING.
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The shooting is far better on the originally intended platform, PC! Plus, there was the fucking amazing Kung Fu mod which gave you awesome moves and a fighting stick to beat people up with.
Max Payne 2 is also worth trying. One of the first games to use Havok 2 physics, IIRC.
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Mario 64 was one of the first games where you could control the camera "at all" though. And its successor, Mario Sunshine, allowed near complete control of it.
So there.
Galaxy took it away again, though, but you can blame that on the lack of a second analog stick.
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but you can blame that on the lack of a second analog stick.
A.k.a: The Wii's controllers suck balls.
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Kind of meaningless, as the Wii Mario game was still the best ever in the series.
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Indeed, but would it have been just as good without the shitty controllers? Yes.
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Galaxy had no camera control, but not once did i have a problem with it. I was real impressed about that.
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Galaxy took it away again, though, but you can blame that on the lack of a second analog stick.
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Well, 64 used the C Buttons, and I assume Sunshine used the C Stick (never played it, but other GCN games used it for that). So I think he means the loss is relative to Sunshine having 2. Galaxy could only center behind you, right? I forget, except that I missed having more control.
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Huh? Galaxy is on the Wii. I don't know how many analog sticks that has but the N64 controller you linked to has only one too, all other buttons are digital. In short, I don't understand what you're trying to say.
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I believe his point was that the N64 also only had one analog stick which puts
Mario 64 was one of the first games where you could control the camera "at all" though.
somewhat at odds with
Galaxy took it away again, though, but you can blame that on the lack of a second analog stick.
However I believe we can safely assume it refers to full camera control, and not "at all" camera control (especially since Sunshine was on a two-stick console).
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You have to think of them more like interactive movies or comic books.
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It's still not unreasonable to script a little adaptability in. If the cop's going to kill you in order to progress the plot; then don't fucking punish the player for not hiding under the correct shed before getting shot.
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Some people (many people?) enjoy this sort of game. Go have fun with your Fallout 3 and let us happily play our linear but far more rewarding games.
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Whys that?
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Has anyone here actually played this game?
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I have, and I can say I gave up at the exact point Yahtzee said he almost gave up - ie on the first chapter, after going through the ridiculous trial-and-error, find the undifferentiated bit of scenery that it actually wants you to run through nonsense. Hateful game.
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That is why I didn't enjoy Zelda: Twilight Princess all that much.
I just felt like Superman trapped in Legolas' uncontrollable body.
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Is it just me, or is the Escapist running dog slow today?
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I'm not having any problems with it.
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It actually took forever to load, good call.
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Yeah man, nice job.
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I just wonder how he has time to play games, write reviews, and put together the video. Pretty industrious fellow.
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I think he reuses some of the characters in his videos.
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No shit? I think you're lying to me.
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40 hours a week? Plenty of time. I spend that much on my job alone, and get that much in video game time too. For him that leaves 40 hours game time, 40 hours review time a week, which is more than enough.
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In case anyone actually checks the comments before watching the video, Yahtzee has some fairly big spoilers in there, followed by a sarcastic split-second spoiler warning. For me, this was the scariest game I ever played, so it might be worth a try.
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Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge.
What do I win?
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Someone should really nominate the Escapist for a Webby...
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"Trial and Error twins" Yahtzee's still got it!
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It seems to me that he shreds any game that others ask him to review. If its a game he wants to review, it gets a fair shake. Any game that others ask him to review gets toasted.
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It stands to reason that any game he wants to review is a game he likes. Therefore, by comparison, it's going to seem like he's bagging on anything else.
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I was really excited when I saw the use of the Monkey Island toolbar at the bottom of the screen. It was funny, because I just beat the 2nd one (the toolbar was from the 2nd one, because of the items in it) about an hour ago.
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WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!
So they can use commercial music in a stupid webby ad but not in the ZP intro!?!
Face palm.
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So he thinks Siren is too linear but he's a Silent Hill fan? In fact, isn't he a fan of the whole adventure genre? Why did he say that the "one way to do things" is bad when adventure games wouldn't even work without it?
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I think he meant
idly eviscerating mommys POTTED plants
not her pot plants.
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English people say pot plants.
EDIT: As dodgy as that may sound.
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For the 3rd time in a row, I couldn't make it through the whole video. He just doesn't have that touch anymore.
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When is he going to review Killzone 2? Or does he not review PS3 titles?
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Um, wasn't this one a PS3 title?
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He did. The review is "Gears of World War Two". Underlined.
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The Escapist's adverts are getting more and more in my face.
oh and by the way...
###DID YOU KNOW THAT IT IS WEBBY TIME AGAIN?
If that pile of shit wins a Webby, there's something seriously wrong.
Without Yahtzee, there would be no reason to go there.
I like Unskippable too. The rest is shit.
I watch Zero Punctuation, Unskippable and There Will Be Brawl.
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Some of the articles are alright. It's nothing special but it's not terrible. The forum is pretentious as fuck though. Anything that they deem will 'lower the credibility of the forum' gets banned while they go on about such philosophical and mind expanding topics as " Does playing Pokemon make us better people?"