Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles??!!?
escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctua...Posted May 13, 2009, 3:59 PM UTC
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escapistmagazine.com
I love this game so much.
One thing he didn't seem to realize, is that all the cut-scenes are completely skippable if you press start. That seemed to be one of his big complaints, which I disagree with by the way. It's somewhat generic but I think the characters are mostly pretty endearing.
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'Endearing' and Japanese Tween Archetypes don't mix.
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Well, I think they did a good job at avoiding the most annoying archetypes at least. The main hero isn't the strong silent type or emo, and there's no helpless lolicon character. The worst is the flying piglet which is pointless and thankfully rarely appears.
The plot is telegraphed a million miles away, but at the heart there's a really well done, believable love story.
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They fell right into the brother complex trap. If you read manga or watch anime at all, that's a big flashing sign that your heading straight to clichevil.
Oh, they also have the lifelong friend who clearly has feelings for the main character.
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no helpless lolicon character
In a JRPG? What's the point then?
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There's no lolicon characters in Tales of Vesperia, either. There's a couple of lolitas but they rarely show up, and they're weird... like real Lolitas, rather than lolicons.
You know, the Nabokov variety Lolita.
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Have you actually even touched the game? The characters are pretty much as far from typical JRPG characters as you can get.
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Oh I didn't say a single thing about the game. I was just commenting on the "endearing" part.
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You said "endearing and Japanese tween archetypes don't mix," however there are no Japanese Tween Archetypes here, so my point still stands.
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Are you serious? I have played through the game multiple times and the cutscenes are distilled JRPG pain. They might as well have put teardrops in speech bubbles next to their head. I absolutely love this game, but the cutscenes make me want to punch babies.
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Please describe to me how the characters are typical JRPG characters.
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Gonna disagree with you here. The cutscenes are poorly edited, there is no doubt -- they are not up to par with Square Enix standards, but from what I've seen, they're really not as bad as those awful Nippon-Ichi games.
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I'm nearing the end of the game myself and I do like it quite a bit. The story for the first couple chapters made me nauseous in its embarrassing cutesy-poo baloney-crap, but it got much better after the story got more intense.
A lot of his complaints baffled me. The management portion of the game is actually rather simple compared to other rpg strategies, but I suppose it would look insane to someone not used to them. Someone who isn't familiar with JRPGs would have a difficult time seeing the difference between this one and others, but there is a huge difference. The gameplay notwithstanding, the main characters are not grating or completely over-typecast (with a few glaring exceptions). Some of the support troops are, though, and I've been weeding those annoying motherfuckers out over time (switching to Japanese dialog helped immensely).
The worst thing about this game is the AI. SO often I've put myself in a precarious position and all the AI needs to do is fire one more AT round at my tank, it has more than enough time and resources to do it, and it just ends its turn. Makes the victory feel cheap. If the AI had even half the intelligence of the worst strategy player I'd be up shit creek more often than not in this game. I actually find myself relying on the fact that the AI will end its turn rather than claim victory. I haven't unlocked hard mode for skirmishes yet, but from what I've read, it doesn't improve things.
I do agree with his complaint that the sandbags (and special areas in trenches) are the only thing you can crouch behind.
The game mechanics, graphics and storyline are what save it for me. I'll likely be checking out the DLC when I'm finished.
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I actually find myself relying on the fact that the AI will end its turn rather than claim victory. I haven't unlocked hard mode for skirmishes yet, but from what I've read, it doesn't improve things.
It does. Well, let me explain.
From what I've been able to tell, the AI acting stupid isn't so much a result of poor programming as deliberate design. Each enemy unit has a hard limit on the number of turns it can take in a round, and once those are used up it will end the round. The number increases later in the game and again in the Hard skirmishes. From what I've played of the DLC, the cap seems to be gone altogether, or close to it.
The cap can get quite obnoxious when an enemy tank is right in front of you, shoots the Edelweiss down to a sliver of HP, and then just gives up with 5 CP remaining. But I do think there's a good reason for it. The enemy has a major advantage over you in that it only needs to take out one unit -- your tank -- to win, whereas you need to clear a big path and plant somebody in their base (presumably this was done so the player could actually lose once in a while, since you'll hardly ever lose your main base). If the AI was cunning and totally unrestricted, all it would have to do is get a tank or lancer into range of the Edelweiss and keep shooting until you're dead. The action cap keeps single units from being able to do that.
As you say, this can make victory feel cheap, but the alternative would be much worse. Anyway I don't think it really makes the game easier -- there are lots of missions that are still plenty hard. The designers just went with different strategies (terrain advantages, more enemy units, machine gun encampments, tons of tanks, endless reinforcements, etc.) to add difficulty.
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Hmm, I had a suspicion something like that was in effect. It makes sense, but also gives me the feeling that the AI is purposefully going easy on me.
One thing I didn't go into about the AI was the pointless running in circles that units will do (as in the first forest skirmish, I forget its name) or thoughtlessly pointing a tank AWAY from my units so all I have to do is get a lancer up there and blow it away. While these limitations may have some foundation in facilitating gameplay I never get the feeling I am battling an intelligent opponent. Quite often I'll even say out loud "Well, that was completely stupid" to the game. Though, speaking to the television in such a way doesn't paint a pretty picture of my intelligence.
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One thing I didn't go into about the AI was the pointless running in circles that units will do
Yeah, I guess the AI isn't exactly bug free. Something enemy units do quite frequently is run somewhere and then immediately back again, or (when they're under crossfire) repeatedly use CP to take one step forward at a time.
or thoughtlessly pointing a tank AWAY from my units so all I have to do is get a lancer up there and blow it away.
Was this also in the first forest mission? I remember that happening too. I think it might be some quirk where the tank is programmed to patrol the base, and every second turn it foolishly faces away from your squad. I don't think I've encountered that on other missions.
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His complaints baffled you because anyone who has played the game would realize that he clearly only played it for an hour or two.
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His complaint about the "completely linear" weapon upgrades also reveals that he didn't even bother to scroll the tech trees down any. Many of the weapons have three mutually exclusive paths. My scouts get the 'accuracy' type rifles while my engineers use the 'def down' rifles, and I've been meaning to make some of those 'atk down' machine guns for a few of my shocktroopers.
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Yep, and also his point about his snipers not hitting anything shows that he didn't play past a few rounds. By their 3rd upgrade snipers are already super accurate, and by their last one they are accurate to nearly one pixel.
Funny aside, it wasn't until the 2nd to last battle that I realized you could fine tune sniper aim with the d-pad. Up until then I was doing it entirely with the stick, which being incredibly sensitive meant I was jumping around like hell and had to spend a good minute trying to get the thing to land where I wanted. Whoops.
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It is generic but it's really well done. I actually give a damn about the characters and even rewatch some of the cut scenes.
That said, I'm glad they're skippable. The way the book mode is laid out, you can't always tell if you're getting into a battle or plot exposition. Sometimes if there are 3 or 4 plots in a row I get to the end and start up a fight without having saved.
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3/4 of the way through the game I finally realized that if the book picture you click on is a blueprint then it's a battle, otherwise it's a cut-scene.
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I think he was complaining that the game constantly asks if you do want to watch them. The first time through the game I could imagine that being quite annoying.
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His criticisms are understandable, apart from the "enemies shooting while it isn't their turn" one. That's an extremely central gameplay element, and it's a big part of what makes the game awesome. It works on the bad guys too, remember. Half the strategy is finding a way past the enemy defenses and the other half is setting up your own defenses for their turn.
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it's surprising the first time you play, 'wait! it's my turn! why the fuck are they shooting?' but you're right, a big part of the strategy is setting your guys up for 'free' shots in anticipated enemy lines of sight.
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Yes, I think what he fails to realize is that the game uses an "Overwatch" gameplay mechanic. The same thing is present in the "hardcore" turn-based PC Turn-Based Tactical RPGs like Silent Storm, Fallout Tactics, Temple of Elemental Evil (D&D pen and paper rules) and most importantly, Jagged Alliance 2.
They're basically attacks of opportunity.
The fact that he's ragging on AOO's just shows his inexperience with the turn-based strategy genre as a whole. What kind of experience has he had with TBS games? Heroes of Might and Magic and nothing else?
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Now I'm hungry for bratwurst.
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That's what she said.
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I'm not going to watch this to spare myself the realization that I've developed blind fanboyism for a game with bubby girls wielding assault rifles.
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I really liked this game. I've been waiting for him to review it just to see what he would say. Some criticisms are spot on. They do have multiple cut scenes in a row but make you select them one at a time? Doesn't make sense to me. Micromanaging the whole army can be a bit tedious. But the story is great and the game play is unique. The bit about soldiers firing at you when you move makes a little more sense in game. It's trying to combine turn base and real time strategy all in to one which of course is impossible, so they have to do certain things to make it work. I thought it worked really well. Or maybe I'm so starved for a turn based RPG on PS3 these days I'll like anything.
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Wish he would review games I've actually played.
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Seriously? Here's a list of all the games he's reviewed.
If you haven't played any of those games...wtf
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Games I've played on the first page: Little Big Planet.
Second page: Fallout 3, Left 4 dead
Disclaimer - I don't play shitty games.
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But- but... Thief: The Dark Project is on the first page! There's obviously been some horrible mistake, I mean, you have played this right?
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Thought that was a new thief. Yeah I've played it.
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Let's not forget:
-Braid
-Prince of Persia Retrospective
-STALKER Clear Sky
-MGS4
-Oblivion
-Painkiller
-God of War
-Mass Effect
-Assassin's Creed (If only for the free running)
-Crysis
-The Orange Box
-Peggle
-Bioshock
-Psychonauts
Can't say much for the others, but those are all spectacular games he has reviewed.
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Sir, if you do not retract your statement calling the Orange Box a shitty game, you've got a gentleman's duel on your hands.
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where the fuck did I write that? I only wrote about the two first pages.
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Sucks, cause VC was one of the best titles of last year.
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I'm a big fan of the first two games but went in to the third with low expectations. I was pleasantly surprised with the atmosphere. But yeah, can see how some think it's shit (BTW, yatzeeh totally could've done more with that review.)
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I like how the old reviews had custom music, that was a nice touch.
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I liked the part with the chest high Gears of War 2 box.
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Love how he gets Mitlers autograph at the end.
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I find that the older I get the more I agree with Yahtzee on his view of J-RPGs. Final Fantasy 6 and Secret of Mana were awesome but, I haven't been able to sit all the way through one in the last decade. FF7 was the gift and the curse, great game but now every single game has those exact same characters with minor tweaks.
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FF7 was the gift and the curse, great game but now every single game has those exact same characters with minor tweaks.
The characters in VC are absolutely nothing like those of FF7, or any other game out there for that matter.
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He's pretty dead-on, but I actually really like the game. Strategy games are pretty much the only way I can stomach anime JRPGs nowadays though.
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Two questions:
Will a good game come out ever again?
And if so, will Yahtzee even look at it?
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The game is really good, look at average people who rate it and you will find high marks across the board. This is one game I HIGHLY suggest getting if you are a PS3 owner.
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Did I read his comments at the end right? Might he actually try X-Com? It's way older than anything he's ever reviewed and probably more than a little out of his depth but I was (pleasantly) surprised he'd remember the name of such an old game from a genre he obviously has little interest in.
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Man he missed the mark in so many regards here. Oh well. I'm not surprised, really, but it's a shame that such a popular vlog is going to harm sales figures of a brilliant game that really flew under the radar and should have sold many more copies.
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At this point, I bet any attention for the game is good attention.
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He kinda prefaces his review with the "I hate Anime RPGs". I doubt the target audience (those who love Anime RPGs) will consider his opinion relevant.
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What the hell is an Anime RPG? Did you just make that term up?
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Did you not even watch the review?
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Well, technically, Yahtzee did call them JRPGs (I went back and checked), but later he made fun of the Anime elements.
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RPGs featuring Anime-style animation. You know, Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest VIII, Kingdom Hearts, Radiata Stories, Atelier Iris, Star Ocean, Tales of Legendia, Grandia, Dark Cloud.
Do I need to go on?!?
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Can you classify Kingdom Hearts as a JRPG? There are more Disney elements than FF elements, so where do we put it?
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Those are called JRPGs. And, FWIW, VC is not a JRPG, it is an SRPG.
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It's what it sounds like.
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I have this game and I hate it.
The game is just filled with ridiculous childish propaganda and the combat odds are always completely rigged. I sincerely agree with everything Yahtzee points out in his review.
Frustrating game with pathetic production. I'm getting ride of it tomorrow for SA2. Couldn't wait 2 more weeks for Infamous, it's gotta go finally.
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Pathetic production? Eh? The game has some of the nicest graphics, best animation and best sound of any game to come out this generation.
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Production includes such things as dialogues, story telling and the likes.
Nicest graphics, best animation and best sound?? That makes no sense whatsoever, really I must have missed something or I just play a lot more games than you do.
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Nicest graphics, best animation and best sound?? That makes no sense whatsoever, really I must have missed something or I just play a lot more games than you do.
Yeah? Because I've been playing games for over 20 years, own over 100, and have worked professionally in the game industry as an artist. So yeah, you probably know what you're talking about more than I do. Right.
And no, production isn't dialogue and story, that is the writing department. Production is visuals, animation, sound, music, and polish.
And even still, VC has a wonderful, complex, and deeply emotional story, one of the best and most movie-like of any game I've played.
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HAHAHAHA.. .wonderful complex and deeply emotional story! ROFLMAO.
It feels like a recycle anime that never made it to prime time. Come on... I do own tons of anime also, that story made me puke on every corner.
Owning over 100 games is puny really. If you'd be playing for over 20 years, it should be around 5000. I had 1000 games alone on commodore 64 when I was 12 years old ;)
I know you like the game, I didn't and I got ride of it. Sorry it that breaks your routine...
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Uh-oh, he criticised Japan.
Prepare for the Wapanese shit-storm!
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huh?
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It's zero punctuation, but there's punctuation in the title. hahaha, im so original.
Apple Crumble
Ingredients
Crumble:
300g/10½oz plain flour, sieved pinch of salt
175g/6oz unrefined brown sugar
200g/7oz unsalted butter, cubed at room temperature
Knob of butter for greasing
Filling:
450g/1lb apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1cm/½in pieces
50g/2oz unrefined brown sugar
1 tbsp plain flour
1 pinch of ground cinnamon
Method
Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4.
Place the flour and sugar in a large bowl and mix well. Taking a few cubes of butter at a time rub into the flour mixture. Keep rubbing until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
Place the fruit in a large bowl and sprinkle over the sugar, flour and cinnamon. Stir well being careful not to break up the fruit.
Butter a 24cm/9in ovenproof dish. Spoon the fruit mixture into the bottom, then sprinkle the crumble mixture on top.
Bake in the oven for 40-45 minutes until the crumble is browned and the fruit mixture bubbling.
Serve with thick cream or custard.
I wanted to downvote this for being irrelevant, but then I realized that downvoting a recipe for apple crumble would make me a horrible person.
APPLE PIE
INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
(it's a sad day when apple pie gets downmodded. WHAT'S HAPPENED TO OUR COUNTRY)
Meh. I prefer apple crumble to apple pie, personally.
Well, uh... thank you?
Please post that here
http://www.reddit.com/r/Baking/
I'm sure the dwellers there are quite interrested! ...And we could use more content.
Edit: You too, strentax!
Holy shit! There's a baking sub-Reddit!
MUFFINS!!!!
I love you for using weights instead of volumes in your measurements.
because the weight and volume ratio in some substances have been know it change
Damn, now I'm hungry.
I fucking love Apple Crumble and Custard!
I highly recommend making the crumble mix in a food processor and putting in about 50g of hazelnuts and brazil nuts and blitzing it a little but not too much so you still get a bit of the texture of nuts. The nutty flavour makes a crumble AMAZING.
But, overall this comment is a lot better than "Oh is it Wednesday already" Nice work.
Eddie, you so krazy
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I prefer Malfunctioning Eddy.
Oh, is it "Is it Wednesday already?" day already?
Upmodded because I'm a fuckin moron
Letters: what happens when you run out of them?
[deleted]
Can someone explain to me why this keeps on getting upvoted, week after god damn week?
Consistency.